Twelve years after her rapid rise to fame, “Same Love” singer Mary Lambert finally got her opportunity to share her love and talents with the Western Massachusetts community at Northampton’s First Night.
Lambert, who has lived in Western Massachusetts for a decade, attended First Night as a guest nearly 10 years ago and was enthralled by the connection between the artists and the music-loving community. The magnitude of the event – First Night Northampton is the largest New Year’s Eve event in Massachusetts – and size of the crowds, along with the jubilant energy that was present throughout the day, made Lambert want to return to the event as a performer.
“I saw Winterpills at one of the churches, and it was so magical, so beautiful, and I loved the sense of community and how massive it was,” Lambert said. “Just to see people of all ages out and about, and supporting music and supporting artists, it’s just a special thing. I remember watching them and thinking ‘it would be so fun to play First Night’ and it hasn’t worked out any other time so I’m really excited that I finally got to do it.”
Lambert, who has released three albums and three EPs, was born and raised in Seattle, Washington. She began writing lyrics and poetry when she was young as a way to comfort herself and escape from reality.
“If I’m being honest about the truth of my life, the first half was real dark,” Lambert said. “And my songwriting afforded me the ability to live this vibrant life I have now. Songwriting, at the beginning of my life, was a form of survival, was a way to heal and process things that were happening in real time. As a 7 year old, writing a song on my little Casio keyboard while I’m hearing violence in the house, comforting myself and soothing myself. I learned the power of art can change your life, can change your perspective about a situation, can make you feel safe, can make you feel a sense of home.”
As a spoken word performer, Lambert became part of Seattle’s poetry scene as a teenager. It was there that she was discovered by Ben Haggerty, a Seattle native who is known by his stage name, Macklemore.
Lambert and Macklemore collaborated on “Same Love,” a song that promotes gay marriage and embraces homosexuality in America. It quickly became a hit and a gay anthem, and Lambert’s voice in the chorus became a staple on radio waves. The lyrics, “I can’t change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to. My love, my love, my love, she keeps me warm,” have been a part of many queer weddings through the years, including a live mega-wedding that saw 33 couples become married at the 2014 Grammys.
“There was a period of time where I was not comfortable saying, ‘Oh, [”Same Love”] has been impactful’ or ‘I’ve been a part of something super impactful’ and I felt that maybe it was egotistical to say something like that,” Lambert said. “But I now recognize that there are songs throughout my life that have changed how I feel about myself or the rest of the world so it is not beyond me to think maybe that song had that kind of impact for other people. And I remember listening to it for the first time and thinking, ‘This is a really incredible song.’ It was really exciting that we made it but I think what made it so profound and so powerful was what people did with it.”
When Lambert and Macklemore performed together, Lambert was the only queer person in the spotlight on stage. She said that, although it was scary to be in that position, every time she performed “Same Love,” there was another metaphorical bandaid put over the mental and emotional wounds of her childhood. She cherished the ability to be a beacon of hope and light for queer children who did not have a support system.
“I think about kids who are growing up in Southern states or places where they don’t have affirming community or families that respect their identity and love them unconditionally,” Lambert said. “When I think about that, I think ‘That’s the power of music. That’s what’s so special about [”Same Love”] is that we made something that helped people feel seen. That’s so special.’ I feel really lucky that I got to do that.”
Singer Mary Lambert mixes song, poetry and emotional confirmations at the Chevy Court on Day 3 at the New York State Fair Friday, August 24, 2023. N. Scott Trimble | strimble@syracuse.com
Throughout her music career, Lambert has focused on sharing important aspects of her identity with the world. Her unapologetic attitude toward being herself has manifested itself fully in hit songs “Body Love,” “Secrets,” and “She Keeps Me Warm,” the latter of which took the chorus of “Same Love.” In each song, Lambert openly shares a critical yet often scrutinized part of herself, whether it be her body, her bipolar disorder, or her queerness.
When the music video for “She Keeps Me Warm” was released, Lambert told a friend that she was scared of what people in the comments would say. The friend tried to comfort Lambert, saying the world has become an increasingly accepting place for queer people and that she would receive much more love than hate. But Lambert wasn’t concerned about comments on her queerness; she was worried about fat-shaming comments. It was then that she knew she had to advocate for the plus-size community, too.
Since then, Lambert has ensured that her pride in her body is front and center of everything she does. She cherishes her body and feels it is her duty to encourage others to be unashamed of themselves, no matter their size.
“It is my job on this earth, I feel, to be a shame wash,” Lambert said. “Let’s get rid of the shame. It’s not helping anyone and it’s hurting all of us.”
Her most direct involvement with the fat community is her “Everybody Is A Babe” workshop, which took her years of research and hard work to put together. The workshop originated as a four-week course that met twice a week and taught techniques that promoted self-love and appreciation for one’s body. The workshop is now also being offered with VIP coaching as well as a self-paced course.
Lambert has always wanted to help other fat people love themselves, but knew that if she were going to provide direct support, she had to do it perfectly since body image issues are incredibly sensitive topics.
“It’s important to me to be deliberate and intentional, so as I’m working with people and talking to them about their relationships to their bodies, I better not f–k it up, I better get it right,” Lambert said. “So I spent about two years researching, ‘How do we get to this point, how do we get to this place where people are valuing thinness at all costs and are engaging in really risky behaviors and killing themselves in order to be thin under the guise of health?’ That research was super informative and super helpful and changed my relationship with my body as I learned more things, like how there were so many other approaches to living life other than always being on a diet or always being anxious about your body.”
Since 2019, Lambert and her spouse, Dr. Wyatt Paige Hermansen, who uses they/them pronouns, have been recording episodes for their podcast, “The Manic Episodes.” Their podcast, which has over 100 episodes, deals with challenging issues that are sometimes personal, like their queerness or their mental health – both Lambert and Hermansen have bipolar disorder – and other times are hot-button topics, like the ongoing Israel-Palestine conflict.
When talking about their podcast, Lambert and Hermansen could not stop gushing over each other.
“I feel like every time we record I’m getting really smart by talking to you,” Lambert said to Hermansen. “Wyatt is the most brilliant person I’ve ever met. The way that they think, and the way they absorb information, and their perspectives on situations are things that I’m really inspired by.”
“In our relationship, it’s been so neat because it’s time for us to not just record it for the benefit of other people, but it’s a concentrated amount of time that we get to spend together, really focusing on connecting,” Hermansen said. “I just try to make it the kind of thing, and I think Mary feels the same way, that when i was struggling with this stuff and they weren’t very many people talking about it, whether it be mental health or figuring out your gender identity, or relationships and the issues queer people face in relationships, what kind of podcast I would’ve wanted to listen to. It’s just an incredibly special thing to do.”
Lambert’s most recent album, “Grief Creature,” came out in 2019 and was the first album that she produced single-handedly. Lambert is currently working on another album that she is producing on her own and will feature her songs and poetry.
