Take your air conditioners out of the window and grab your fleece pullovers, winter is coming in New England — and so are the Polar Seltzer Winter seasonal flavors.
As is the case with some flavors, I’m not exactly sure what they’re supposed to be or how they’re supposed to work.
For example, how can the flavor be Brown Sugar Clementine if, as the bottle states, there are zero sweeteners?
Then there’s Blackberry Snowflake, which is confounding. Snowflakes don’t taste like anything. Even if there were real snowflakes in this, they’d just melt into water.
Then there’s Dance of the Plum Fairy. I’m guessing it has plum in it. But there’s no guarantee.
I mean, the Plum Fairy could be collaborating with other flavors. Making that assumption would be fairy profiling, and no one wants that.
I’ve seen the TikToks of the people who read “A Court of Thorns and Roses” online. I don’t want any of that smoke.
Polar Seltzer 2025 Winter Flavors | Review
As is tradition with the Polar seasonals, we have three new flavors and two returning flavors:
- New: Dance of the Plum Fairy
- New: Brown Sugar Clementine
- New: Blackberry Snowflake
- Returning: Blood Orange Cranberry
- Returning: Spice Pear Cider
I’m glad they brought Blood Orange Cranberry back from last year’s lineup.
We lost Frosted Boysenberry in the rollover. But Spiced Pear Cider is a solid backup option.
What does it taste like?
NEW: Dance of the Plum Fairy — This has a nice berry flavor that lands somewhere in the area of blueberry. It could also be plum. But I always sort of forget exactly what those taste like.
Seriously, when’s the last time you had a plum?
It’s a little sparkly on the back end. There might be some sort of citrus or lighter flavor balancing things out.
I really enjoy this. All I know is that there’s probably plum, and plum has historically made good seltzer
NEW: Blackberry Snowflake — See? What did I tell you? I can’t taste a single snowflake in this. All I taste is blackberry.
I mean, the blackberry is delicious and immediately rockets to top flavor status. But I’m still miffed about the whole snowflake thing.
NEW: Brown Sugar Clementine — OK, I take back every complaint I ever made about the nonsense names. This is straight sorcery.
The moment I opened the bottle, my nose told my brain, “Hey, that smells like brown sugar or molasses.”
My brain told everyone to shut up because, obviously, there was no brown sugar in there.
But then I drank it, and my mouth chimed in, “Hey bud, I don’t know what to tell you. This tastes like orange and brown sugar.”
I have no clue how they did it. The only ingredients listed are “carbonated water” and “natural flavors.” There are no calories or sugar in it.
It tastes great. It’s a novel, refreshing flavor that’s different from pretty much anything else Polar has made. You get nice waves of molasses and citrus in each sip.
RETURNING: Blood Orange Cranberry — This seltzer packs a serious punch of orange flavor.
The moment you take a sip, you’re blasted with citrus and a little bit of the cranberry. Overall, this is one of the most potent flavors Polar has made.
RETURNING: Spiced Pear Cider — This flavor is wild. It carries a pop of nutmeg and cinnamon. It tastes a lot like an apple or pear cider in the way the fruit blends with the spices.
The final word: Updated all-time seltzer rankings
With the new flavors, I’m now up to 105 entries in my all-time Polar Seltzer flavor rankings. Overall, this group is pretty good, with Brown Sugar Cinnamon having the best showing at No. 17 overall.
As always, these rankings are not scientific, but they are correct.
105. Cinnamon Bun (Dessert Cart)
104. Blueberry Lemonade
103. Mango Cherry Bliss (Summer Seasonal)
102. Vanilla
101. Seltzer
100. Pomegranate Apple (Winter Seasonal)
99. Lemon Cola (Polar Park Exclusive)
98. Hibiscus Cloudberry (Winter Seasonal)
97. Blackberry Mango Punch
96. Minotaur Mayhem (Impossibly Good)
95. Apple Crisp
94. Lime
93. Strawberry Honeydew (Summer Seasonal)
92. Ruby Red Grapefruit
91. Jalapeño Citrus Margarita (Limited Edition)
90. Mermaid Songs (Impossibly Good)
89. Blood Orange Punch (Expedition: Flavor)
88. Raspberry Lime
87. Triple Berry
86. Strawberry Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)
85. Cranberry Cider (Winter Seasonal)
84. Vanilla Zen
83. Blueberry Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)
82. Blueberry Lavender (Summer Seasonal)
81. Blackberry Mango Punch (Summer Seasonal)
80. Polar 100 (Special Edition)
79. Blood Orange Sangria
78. Passionfruit Blueberry (Summer Seasonal)
77. Yeti Mischief (Impossibly Good)
76. Strawberry Watermelon
75. Yuzu Orange Blossom
74. Pomegranate
73. Cranberry Raspberry (Expedition: Flavor)
72. Cranberry Bramble (Winter Seasonal)
71. Dragon Fruit Lemonade
70. Island Blueberry (Expedition: Flavor)
69. Raspberry Rosé (Summer Seasonal)
68. Be Mine (Valentine’s Day Edition)
67. Cranberry Clementine
66. Mango Limeade (Seltzer’ade)
65. Chili Lime Pineapple (Expedition: Flavor)
64. Kiwi Pink Grapefruit (Summer Seasonal)
63. Nectarine Lemon (Expedition: Flavor)
62. Guava Mule (Summer Seasonal)
61. Pineapple Guava
60. RETURNING: Spiced Pear Cider (Winter Seasonal)
59. Mandarin
58. Blackberry Clementine (Winter Seasonal)
57. Seaside Watermelon Punch (Summer Seasonal)
56. Watermelon Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)
55. Watermelon Wonder (Expedition: Flavor)
54. Apple Pom Bomb (Expedition: Flavor)
53. Pixie Lights (Impossibly Good)
NEW: 52. Dance of the Plum Fairy
51. Pineapple Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)
50. Cherry Pomegranate
49. Prickly Pear Citrus (Winter Seasonal)
48. Ginger Lime Mule
47. Berry Sweet Grapefruit
46. Grapefruit Melon Kiss (Winter Seasonal)
45. Nectarine Grapefruit (Winter Seasonal)
44. Clementine Bramble (Expedition: Flavor)
43. Key Lime Grapefruit
42. Toasted Coconut
41. Coconut Limeade
40. Ginger Peach (Winter Seasonal)
39. Passionfruit-O-Guava (Summer Seasonal)
38. Tropical Cherry (Summer Seasonal)
37. Tart Cherry Limeade (Seltzer’ade)
36. Concord Clementine (Winter Seasonal)
35. Watermelon Mojito (Summer Season)
34. Frosted Boysenberry (Winter Seasonal)
33. Papaya Breeze (Summer Seasonal)
32. Poolside Grape Pops (Summer Seasonal)
NEW: 31. Blackberry Snowflake (Winter Seasonal)
30. Black Cherry
29. Unicorn Kisses (Impossibly Good)
28. Georgia Peach
27. Pineapple Pomelo
26. Blood Orange Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)
25. Blackberry Citron (Winter Seasonal)
24. Upside Down Plum (Winter Seasonal)
23. Pomegranate Champagne
22. Elderflower Starlight (Winter Seasonal)
21. Raspberry Limoncello (Summer Seasonal)
RETURNING: 20. Blood Orange Cranberry
19. Pink Summer Iced Tea (Summer Seasonal)
19. Lemon Meringue (Dessert Cart)
NEW: 17. Brown Sugar Clementine
16. Lemon
15. Blueberry Tangerine (Summer Seasonal)
14. Starfruit Lemonade
13. I’d Rather Drink Alone (Valentine’s Day Edition)
12. Peach Iced Tea (Summer Seasonal)
11. Black Cherry Vanilla
10. Strawberry Margarita (Summer Seasonal)
9. Strawberry Créme (Summer Seasonal)
8. Strawberry Rhubarb Pie (Dessert Cart)
7. Raspberry Pink Lemonade (Seltzer’ade)
6. Pink Lady Apple & Lemon
5. Orange Vanilla
4. Nectarine Lemon (Summer Seasonal)
3. Dragon Whispers (Impossibly Good)
2. Perfectly Plum Summer (Summer Seasonal)
1. Cranberry Lime
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“I ate it so you don’t have to” is a regular food column about offbeat eats, both good and bad. I picked the name years ago and now we’re sort of stuck with it.
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