The new Dirt Cake Oreos are double-chocolate stuf Oreos with some weird special effects in the cookie. That’s a good thing, despite what you might guess from the package.
The gangly tangle of gummy worms don’t exactly look appetizing up there above the logo, spilling out like Medusa’s snake hair. But the actual cookie doesn’t live up to any sort of Creepy Crawler expectations you may have.
The newest addition to the ancient Oreo bloodline is a spin on the dirt cake dessert, a messy (but tasty) parfait that’s topped with either crushed Oreos or cake to resemble dirt. Dirt cake also typically features gummy worms on top — to really drive home the whole dirt vibe.
So how did Oreo turn that into a cookie? Nonsense sprinkles.
Dirt Cake Oreos | Review
The signature feature of the Dirt Cake Oreos is the addition of “gummy worm inspired sprinkles on top.” This comes in the form of little glossy sparkles in various colors dotting the exterior cookies.
The ill-advised cookie modifications are especially puzzling considering that they don’t actually look like sprinkles. It’s not entirely clear how they’re “gummy-worm inspired.”
It’s like Boston College, which is not actually a college (it’s a university) and also isn’t in Boston (it’s in the Newton portion of Chestnut Hill).
The whole thing is a tangled blanket of mistruths and obfuscations of actual definitions. But since it’s close enough, it’s just easier to accept it, move on — and not even bother looking up what “obfuscation” means.
What do they taste like?
Despite the ballyhoo that Oreo stirs up with the gummy worm imagery on the package, these just taste like good chocolate Oreos. If you really think about it, you might get a little bit of fruity flavor. But that could just be a sprinkle placebo making my brain taste things that aren’t there.
Meanwhile, the actual creme in the cookie is great. It’s a surprisingly light, multi-layered chocolate flavor that’s built on a layer of dark chocolate and a layer of lighter milk chocolate. The dual chocolate flavor channels do a good job of replicating the sort of double chocolate whammy you’d get from the mousse and cake in an actual dirt cake.
A close-up look at the new Dirt Cake Oreos.(Nick O’Malley, MassLive)
So where do they rank?
I’m adding this Oreo to my ongoing rankings, which have been in the works since 2014. These are basically the same at the Blackout Cake Oreos that came out not too long ago, which came in at No. 11. Because of that, I’m putting these in the same tier at No. 12.
As always, my Oreo rankings are not scientific, but they are correct.
88. Banana Split Oreo
87. Cookie Dough Oreo
86. Cherry Cola Oreo
85. Berry Oreo
84. Limeade Oreo
83. Apple Pie Oreo
82. Reduced Fat Oreo
81. Oreo Thins Piña Colada
80. Caramel Apple Oreo
79. Key Lime Pie Oreo
78. Fruit Punch Oreo
77. Oreo Thins Pistachio
76. Hot & Spicy Cinnamon Oreo
75. Pumpkin Spice Oreo (2014 version)
74. Mystery Oreo (AKA Fruity Crisp)
73. Caramel Coconut Oreo
72. PB&J Oreo
71. Oreo Bites Fudge Dipped Mint Creme
70. Lemon Oreo
68. Oreo Thins Salted Caramel
67. Oreo Thins Lemon
66. Fudge-Covered Oreo
65. Cookies & Creme Oreo
64. Chocolate Creme Oreo (Golden)
63. Salted Caramel Brownie Oreo
62. Oreo Thins Coconut
61. Snickerdoodle Oreo
60. Peppermint Bark Oreos
59. Peeps Oreo
58. Golden Oreo
57. Oreo Thins (Golden)
56. Golden Double Stuf Oreo
55. Neapolitan Oreo
54. Blueberry Pie Oreo
53. Oreo Thins Extra Stuf
52. Jelly Donut Oreo
51. Kettle Corn Oreo
50. Pumpkin Spice Oreo (2022 Version)
49. Chocolate Hazelnut Oreo
48. Oreo Mini
47. Oreo Bites Fudge Dipped Original
46. Oreo Mini Golden
45. Caramel Mocha Latte Oreo
44. Java Chip Oreo
43. Dunkin’ Donuts Mocha Oreo
42. Peanut Butter Creme Oreo
41. Peanut Butter Cup Oreo
40. Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie
39. Chocolate Creme Oreo
38. Dark Chocolate Oreo
37. Rocky Road Trip Oreo
36. Black & White Cookie Oreo
35. Most Oreo Oreo
34. Mega Stuf Oreo (Vanilla Cookie)
33. Oreo Bites Fudge Dipped Coconut
32. Space Dunk Oreo
31. Gingerbread Oreo
30. Carrot Cake Oreo
29. Cotton Candy Oreo
28. Mint Creme Oreo
27. Most Stuf Oreo
25. Oreo Thins Dark Chocolate
24. Moon Oreos
23. Fireworks Oreo
22. Birthday Cake (Chocolate Cookie) Oreo
21. Triple Double Oreo
20. Maple Syrup Oreo
19. Mystery Oreo (2019 Edition, AKA Churro)
18. Red Velvet Oreo
17. Cinnamon Bun Oreo
16. Oreo Thins (Chocolate)
15. Cookie Butter Oreo
14. Oreo Thins (Mint)
13. Chocolate Marshmallow Oreo
12. Dirt Cake Oreo (NEW)
11. Blackout Cake Oreo
10. Mega Stuf Oreo
Tied 8. Double Stuf Gluten-Free Oreo
8. Double Stuf Oreo
7. Oreo Thins
Tied-5. Gluten-Free Oreo
5. Oreo
4. Hot Cocoa Oreo
3. Golden Birthday Cake Oreo
2. Marshmallow Krispy Creme Oreo
1. S’mores Oreo
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“I ate it so you don’t have to” is a regular food column looking at off-beat eats, both good and bad. It runs every other Thursday-ish at noon-ish.
You can send any praise/food suggestions to nomalley@masslive.com. Please send all criticisms and complaints about Nick taking shots at BC to CMcKenna@masslive.com. You can check out the rest of the series here.
