Dear Eric: We have a condo at the beach that has a pool. There is a couple that we know through other people that we are not friendly with, and they have a condo in another building without a pool.
Every summer, the wife texts me for the code to my pool. She uses the pool all summer long. I’ve been kind in sharing our code with her for several years now. She always presents me with a $50 gift card for the whole summer. You can barely get two drinks for that these days.
They could very well afford to buy a condo with a pool, but they chose not to. Should I continue to give her the code to our pool? I just feel if she knew that she exercised in a pool every day and didn’t buy a condo with a pool that’s on her. Of course, our condo fees are higher as we have pool expenses. What do you think?
—Cracking the code
Dear Code: I think she’s getting away with an unheard-of bargain. Fifty dollars for an entire summer, from someone with whom she’s not even friends? She got very lucky when she met you.
You have the power and the right to redefine the terms of this arrangement any time you want. You don’t have a pre-existing relationship, and it sounds like, beyond the text and the gift card, you don’t have much contact now. So, she has no right to expect this. And I can’t imagine that if your condo board got wind of this, they’d be pleased. Check your condo’s by-laws; this could be a bigger issue than you think.
I think you should pull the plug on the whole arrangement. Blame the board or tell the truth. Whatever you’d like. You’re doing something nice for her, but I don’t quite understand why. If there are public pools in your area, she can use them. Or she can join a gym with a pool or a private club. There are other options. Or she can move into your building.
If you do decide to keep giving her the code, raise the price to match the pool expenses lumped into your condo fees. But frankly, this might create more problems than it solves. If she was a one-time guest, it would be a different story, but she’s taking up summer residence, which affects you and your neighbors.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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