Asking Eric: I regret not supporting my grandmother’s chance at love after loss

Dear Eric: “Crowded House” was concerned about letting her mother-in-law and boyfriend spend the holidays with them. We had a similar situation with my grandmother, in which many in the family chose not to make the gentleman welcome. Years after my grandmother passed, we found a journal entry saying she wished they had, that due to their pressures, she may have missed a chance for happiness again after losing her husband. It’s your mother-in-law’s life and choice. Don’t miss this chance to support her.

— Been There

Dear Been There: I’m sorry that your grandmother missed this chance and that the family missed the chance to support her. Love after the death of a spouse is never going to look the way outsiders might think it does, but the family should endeavor to empower the mother-in-law rather than judge her choices. Some readers wrote in with concern that, given the relatively short timeframe of the relationship, the new boyfriend was taking advantage of the mother-in-law. I don’t see evidence of that, but a good way to protect a loved one in a new relationship is to meet the person that they love.,

Dear Eric: This is in response to “Need Help”, who encountered trouble understanding customer service reps. I worked in a call center, international department, until my retirement. Because every phone call is constantly being graded and monitored by the “quality control department,” callers can get better results for themselves and for the representative by asking, “Can you repeat that, please?” —this is an alert phrase.

You can also say, “Because this call is being rated for your quality of service, I want you to know, you are doing well. But I need to speak to your supervisor to resolve this.”

What does this do? It releases the CSR from the call, allowing them to be the best they can be. Customer Service Rep goals are to “Relay, relate, respond and release” as efficiently as possible with kindness for a good grade.

— Former CSR

Dear Former CSR: I really appreciate this peek behind the curtain. After working in restaurants as a server and server trainer for a decade, I feel that I have similar insights when I encounter issues when out dining. It’s helpful to remember that everyone has the same goal in customer service situations — a successful interaction.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

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