Asking Eric: How do I stop being a jerk to those around me?

Dear Eric: Lately I have been kind of a jerk to people around me, and although it is kind of a mystery as to why, I know it is something I need to get a handle on. I just don’t know how.

For example, a couple weeks ago, I stormed over to a neighbor’s where a painting company was setting up ladders for a paint job. I complained to them about the noise, since it was before the time that the county daily noise ordinance would end. In retrospect, they weren’t that loud. I felt embarrassed afterward for giving them grief. I have no idea why I was ticked off enough to do this.

In another case, I picked up some takeout food last night and completely unfairly gave the workers a hard time. There’s been other times as well, where I’m ticked off and call them out. I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I need to get this behavior under control.

I have visions of my late dad, who when he was my age (70), was the same way, and later was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and his awful behavior was tied to the early stages of this disease. Help! I don’t want to be that old crabby guy!

—Mood improvement

Dear Mood improvement: This awareness is a gift because it gives you something to work with. If you didn’t see the so-called crabbiness as a problem, you might not be compelled to investigate until whatever is going on has progressed.

First, talk to your doctor. Set up an appointment with your primary care physician and relay your concerns. Ask for a referral to a neurologist but also talk with your doctor about other potential causes for the mood changes. Perhaps you’re having issues with your blood sugar, perhaps you’re experiencing anxiety or depression. I don’t know and it would be irresponsible of me to ever try to diagnose, but a medical professional can listen to you, run tests and start looking for answers.

At the same time, reach out to friends and tell them about what you’re experiencing and what you fear may be going on. They’ll be able to monitor changes in your behavior, as well and help give you information about when these things are happening. Importantly, they’ll also be able to support you, socially and emotionally. This is scary and it’s hard to navigate changes to our personalities or our demeanors. But you don’t have to do it alone.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

©2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.