Dear Eric: I was invited to join a group of ladies last year for a monthly game night. We all take turns hosting.
I’m wondering how to gracefully quit the group. They are really nice people, and we all get along. But the conversation is light, and we hardly ever veer into world affairs. I sense a political divide.
Anyway, I would simply rather spend the evening home with my husband watching a movie or reading. How do I let the ladies know without offending them?
— Homebody
Dear Homebody: Everything has its season and group traditions don’t have to last forever. They don’t even have to last multiple years.
The most graceful way to bow out of game night is to tell them you appreciate the company and you’re grateful to have been invited, but you’d like to spend more time with your husband. This is the truth and it’s also hard to fault you for it. There’s no need to get into the issues with light conversation, as that veers into critique. It’s possible the group has had other members come and go, too. It happens. And it’s very likely that they all have other demands on their time. They’ll understand.
Dear Eric: This is in reference to the letter from “Movin’ and Groovin’”, who took social dance classes and wanted to learn more technique from the instructor, instead of basic steps that were accessible at all levels. I’ve been dancing ballet, ballroom, country-western, folk and clogging since I was six so I do have a lifetime of experience.
If you are taking group dance classes, the instructor will really only have time to concentrate on everyone in the class learning the step/steps being taught in that class. If it’s a more advanced class, the instructor will most likely add in some technique.
Traditionally technique is taught in private lessons where the instructor can work on the student’s specific needs. Almost all dance students take classes from various instructors (who all have different strengths). This enables the dance student to benefit from a wide variety of training and build a stronger dance repertoire.
This is not looked at as being “unfaithful” to your current instructor. In fact, most will encourage that you take from others (as they do such themselves – you never stop learning). Hope this helps!
— Keep On Dancing in the OC
Dear Dancing: It does help! Thanks for this perspective. A good instructor is going to want you to improve and will give you the tools to do so. Sometimes those tools are referrals to other instructors who can take your skills to the next level.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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