Dear Eric: On December 12, “Professional Courtesy” wrote about a friend who had asked for a letter of recommendation and then edited it without the letter writer’s knowledge. The letter writer wrote, “I told him he could edit it, expecting he would send me the edited version.”
Professional Courtesy could have provided clear expectations, especially since there is a friendship at stake. If having the friend provide input was important to Professional Courtesy, then a simple note accompanying the draft could have sufficed, such as:
“As a courtesy, I’m sending you a draft of the recommendation letter. Please feel free to send me any corrections or additions and I will take it into consideration before finalizing my letter.”
Hopefully this advice can help Professional Courtesy to mend their friendship or help with future requests for writing recommendations.
— Recommendation for the recommender
Dear Recommendation for the recommender: Yes! Clear expectations and clearer communication all around could have saved everyone a lot of trouble here. Even in a blind recommendation process, it’s crucial for both parties to check in about the letter’s goals, the applicant’s self-assessment, and the recommender’s comfort level with vouching for various skills and competencies.
Interestingly, but unsurprisingly, the responses to this letter reflected a wide range of practices around letters of recommendation. It’s fair to say that there are different standards in different industries. All the more reason for the letter writer and the letter requester to check in with each other, so that no one’s feelings get bruised and, more importantly, so that the application process is more likely to produce the desired result: a job offer.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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