Note: The quotes from three domestic violence experts in this story are from a 2018 MassLive story regarding Boston Celtic Jabari Bird. They’re still applicable here.
The easiest thing the Bruins could do right now is cut Milan Lucic. The smartest and safest thing they could do is to wait.
After the veteran forward was arrested and charged with assault and battery on his wife, they could release him and put this ugly episode behind them. There are a lot of fans and media members calling on them to do it and do it right now. They’d get a lot of praise and would look righteous.
But they shouldn’t. This has nothing to do with hockey and everything to do with protecting Lucic’s wife and children.
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Unlike the NFL, NBA and MLB, the NHL doesn’t have a domestic violence policy. Every instance is handled on a case-by-case basis, which has pros and cons. What the league and the Bruins should do — and may in fact be doing — is to retain the service of a domestic violence expert to give them guidance on how to do the right thing in a tricky situation.
Domestic violence experts say while punishing an abusive partner looks good and feels good, it often puts the victim at even greater risk.
Losing an athletic career certainly is not too harsh a price to pay for a despicable crime. But it often hurts the victim and, depending on the situation, their children, too. There is wisdom in waiting.
Money is among the biggest issues for victims. The time and travel demands on a professional athlete cause many spouses and partners to give up their own careers to take care of the family. Depending on the situation, leaving an abusive athlete can create impossibly awful decisions and circumstances financially.
An athlete who is already prone to violent behavior will often blame the victim for reporting his actions and the subsequent consequences. It can put the victim at risk of further violence. The combination of those reasons could dissuade some victims from getting help.
“It can be so dangerous for the woman. We don’t want zero tolerance because it can end up putting a woman in danger,” Katie Hnida said. “If suddenly their husband could lose his million-dollar-paying job, you might not have women who are willing to come forward. They’re already worried about getting them in trouble.”
Hnida was the first woman to play Division I college football as a kicker at New Mexico. That happened after she transferred out of Colorado, where she’d been raped by a teammate. She has worked as an anti-violence trainer with teams and leagues in hopes of curbing domestic violence.
Cindy Southworth, who is the former executive vice president of the National Network to End Domestic Violence and currently the head of women’s safety at Meta, agreed.
“Holding offenders accountable is nuanced. I’m opposed to zero tolerance because philosophically if a victim knows and the offender knows that the very first time the police are called, (the offender) loses (his) job immediately, the risk of her being killed is higher,” Southworth said in 2018. “He’s got a lot to lose and she’s got a lot to lose. She knows if she calls, her livelihood, their mortgage, their children’s college is at risk. I would much rather look at each situation and have a measured response.”
Katherine Redmond, who founded the National Coalition Against Violent Athletes in 1997, has worked with Major League Baseball’s Domestic Violence policy board and consulted for the New England Patriots. She is also against a zero-tolerance policy. If a player is cut after an incident, there’s no structure in place to address that player’s behavior. A suspended player can be compelled to seek treatment.
“When baseball hands down a suspension of 80 games or 50 games or whatever, the offender has steps they have to take,” she said. “They have to go into counseling. MLB will talk to the counsellor. Is he cooperating with you? Has he missed appointments?”
Redmond pointed to Molly Brown, the abused ex-wife of former NFL kicker Josh Brown, as an example. Brown admitted to police, she’d been reluctant to report the abuse because of the financial impact on her family.
“Molly was very fearful of what the future would be like if Josh was cut from the team,” King County Sheriff’s Det. Robin Ostrum wrote in a report published by Deadspin, “and how that would impact his ability to pay child support. … Molly was afraid of it becoming a spectacle in the media and that Josh could (lose) his job.”
In 2018, Redmond suggested each league could create a fund, perhaps supported by fines and/or lost wages by disciplined players and donations by others. It would provide financial support for women trying to extricate themselves from abusive relationships with athletes.
“That’s where there should be some kind of fund for victims to tap into,” Redmond said. “That was the concern for Molly Brown. What was she supposed to do? She didn’t want him fired. She just wanted to be separated from him.”
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If the Bruins cut Lucic, they’d be praised by well-intentioned people as a franchise that’s unwilling to stand for something like that. But waiting gives them options. Consult the league. Consult experts. As long as they’re making informed decisions based on safety and not hockey. They don’t have to keep him, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to cut him.
It’s worth getting every bit of information they can to make a decision that prioritizes the long-term safety of Lucic’s family.
If that takes a while, so be it.
Follow MassLive sports columnist Matt Vautour on Twitter at @MattVautour424.
