Dear Annie: I wonder if you and your readers can give me some advice. I was ill recently and received a lovely floral gift from a business associate. One type of flower included was on its last legs, while the rest were fresh. The florist also stuffed fern into the water, which created a pretty look but made the water murky and the display appear rotting.
Normally I would phone the florist with my comments, but their name was not on the paperwork. The gift giver is a high-end business type, and I feel they would be most unhappy with the quality of this gift. Can or should I do anything about this?
— Nancy in the Villages
Dear Nancy: The most important thing is to thank your business associate for the lovely gesture. You could send him a picture of the bouquet to thank him. Then, in a separate phone call or a conversation in person, let him know the condition of the flowers. I’m sure he would want to know for future arrangements that he sends to friends that this florist is NOT living up to expectations.
Dear Annie: Please tell me if I am wrong. I was in the town where my longtime friend of more than 59 years still lives. It was her birthday, and since I was in town, I decided to stop by to say happy birthday in person.
Shortly after I arrived, her cellphone rang and she answered. She was having trouble hearing the caller and asked the caller to call her on the landline. She answered the landline and totally ignored my presence. I thought this was very rude and left her home.
She later called me wondering why I left. I had a three-hour drive back home. Was I wrong?
— Insulted Friend
Dear Insulted Friend: On the one hand, yes, you could look at your friend’s actions as rude. Picking up a call while you were there seems questionable. On the other hand, you can look at it as her feeling comfortable enough with you to treat you like a true friend who doesn’t judge when she has something else to do for a minute. It was HER birthday, after all.
I think you are being a little bit high-maintenance on her birthday, and I would have cut her some slack — all the while making it known to her that your pet peeve is being with someone who picks up the phone to speak with someone else while they already have company.
The fact that she didn’t know why you were mad indicates that, had your roles been reversed, she would not have been offended. Remember, people are not mind readers. You have to tell them what bothers you and why it hurts your feelings.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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