Dear Abby: Struggling with my mother-in-law’s behavior

Dear Abby: My husband and I are blessed with a 6-month-old son, “Tyler.” I’m now back at work three days a week. My mother and my mother-in-law offered to watch him one day a week, which we were grateful for. (I found a babysitter for the third day.)

I give my mom and my MIL gift cards to their favorite restaurants because each is giving up a day per week for us. My mom is very active and quite a bit younger than my MIL. Mom stays home with Tyler on the day she watches him (no errands, etc.).

I asked my MIL if, on the day she watches Tyler, she can also stay home and not drive around to the library, grocery store, and retail stores. I explained it interrupts the baby’s nap schedule, and, because she isn’t as physically in shape as my mom, it worries me how she’s wrangling the car seat, stroller, etc. She promised she’d just stay home and care for him and play with him.

Well, Abby, she completely ignored me. I came to pick him up, and she was not even home. I was furious because this isn’t the only time I have caught her running all over town with my infant. My husband also has asked her to stay put for one day out of the week. The last time I picked up Tyler, I said, “If you can’t stay home, we need to change this arrangement.” Now my husband’s side of the family is upset with me and thinks I was too harsh. What do you think?

— New Mom in Missouri

Dear New Mom: I think that because your mother-in-law ignores your instructions about not taking your baby with her while running errands, you need to find someone else to take care of him on the days she used to do it. This is not being “too harsh,” it is protecting your little one. (No one said motherhood is easy.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O.Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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