Dear Abby: My partner died 10 months ago. We were together for seven years but never married. I have now found a partner who is 12 years younger than I am. We love each other and want to be married. My problem is, he is only separated from his wife. He says he doesn’t want her and he hates her because she betrayed him. They are getting a divorce, but if I stay with him, I feel that I’ll be stepping between them. What should I do — stay and hope for the best, or leave him?
—In the Middle in Massachusetts
Dear In the Middle,
This romance is in its infancy. You have been widowed for only 10 months. There’s wisdom in the adage that after a trauma like the one you have suffered, a person should make no important decisions for a year.
Has this man or his wife filed the divorce papers, or is he only thinking about it? If the papers have been filed, then you are not coming between him and his wife. Divorce can also be traumatic, and, frankly, I am surprised that this man would contemplate remarriage before his divorce is final. Rather than decide whether to leave him, take your time and see how this relationship plays out.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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