Dear Abby: My mom is toxic and needy — how do I set boundaries?

Dear Abby: I am 49. I grew up in a toxic, abusive household. My mother can’t drive. She’s broke and needs me. Up until the last few years, she has been a nightmare.

I’m a single mom of three children and I work A LOT. On weekends, I’d like to rest and try to have a social life, but my mother wants me to come nearly every Saturday to take her out and visit with the kids. She lives 45 minutes away and it’s an all-day endeavor.

I am going crazy. I have no social life, and I’d like to get remarried one day. Would it be selfish to visit only once a month? I need to focus more on myself and my needs. I don’t know what to do or what to suggest for my mother to do in my absence.

— No Life in South Carolina

Dear No Life: Remind your mother that you work hard all week and during the last few years you have sacrificed your personal time to be her chauffeur. Explain that you need time for yourself and can only visit her once a month.

Do not expect her to like it, but you MUST take time for yourself to unwind and have a social life. Advise her that there may be a senior center near her that provides the transportation she needs for activities. Then stand your ground.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.