Dear Abby: How should I handle my sister who is dating my ex-fiancé?

Dear Abby: Eight years ago, I split from my fiancé of 30 years, “Anthony,” when he accused me of cheating, which I was absolutely not doing.

Throughout the entire relationship, he hurt and belittled me. He is insecure and always suspicious. However, he remains attached to my family through my daughter and grandsons, which I am not happy about.

I live across the country now and recently took a trip home to visit my family. I have two sisters. Coincidentally, my niece’s 40th birthday party was being held that Saturday. Nobody knew I was coming, so it was a surprise. But it turns out the real surprise was on me.

When we sat down to eat, one sister (the birthday girl’s other aunt) turned to me and said, “I’m gonna tell you something, and I don’t want to hear anything about it. Anthony and I are in a relationship.”

You can imagine how that went over. Not only did she ruin our niece’s birthday party, but I feel betrayed by that sister.

I have contacted her by text and email telling her how I feel, but she doesn’t respond. Right now, I have no desire to talk to her or have any kind of relationship with her.

I think she sees dollar signs since he has money, but it’s not right to date your sister’s ex because it breaks the “sister code.” What is your advice on this situation?

— Betrayed Sis in Wyoming

Dear Betrayed: Sis, You may have had the longest engagement in history. Wish your sister better luck in their “relationship” than you had, because if your ex is as you described, she’s going to need it. If you feel she violated a “sister code,” then it appears that when money enters the picture, the code is obsolete.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O.Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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