Dear Eric: I have an acquaintance whom I avoid every chance I get.
Not only does this woman latch onto me every time she sees me, but the worst part, besides not being able to get away from her, is the deplorable way she speaks of her daughter.
She controls her every move and puts her down every chance she gets. Her daughter, in my opinion, was a very sweet, loving child, but as an adult she is now a heroin addict with no direction.
This woman gripes incessantly about how she sees others with their children and how proud they are, but she has nothing to be proud of. And she still wants to control her daughter who is now 30, and all the while talks terribly about her.
Should I continue listening to her nonsense, or should I give her a mouthful of the home truths about her daughter that she deserves?
—Exasperated
Dear Exasperated: Should you continue wasting your time? In this one precious life? No.
Dear Eric: I am in a group of friends who have socialized with each other for more than 30 years. About a year ago one of the couples moved into a continuous care community due to physical and cognitive issues. Surprisingly, only two women from our group have taken the time to visit with them during this time. At a recent social gathering, I began to tell the group about my visit. Before I could finish, the group moved on to another topic. It’s really sad how we write off people once they become ill or disabled. Please remind your readers that friends and family who are homebound or in care facilities enjoy the company. Even one hour of your time can make their day.
—Concerned Friend
Dear Friend: While this isn’t a question, it’s a good reminder for everyone. And also, an opportunity for you. I hope you’ll take the chance to speak with your friends about how their perceived callousness struck you. Sometimes friendship means showing up; sometimes friendship means calling out.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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