Asking Eric: Tell your reader to spend more time with their ailing grandmother

Dear Eric: I have a few words of encouragement for the young lady whose grandmother had developed dementia (“Loving Granddaughter”). My mom passed away 20 years ago from Parkinson’s disease and dementia.

I am in my late 70s now, but I remember my experience like it was yesterday.

This loving granddaughter should visit her grandma as much as possible. Take that time to learn all about her grandma. Talk with her and ask a lot of questions about her life.

While mom was alive, we thanked God for the time she spent with us. Her life was much more interesting and fascinating than I ever knew. Her childhood, her adolescence, her marriage to my dad, their families, the world during her life, and much more. It gave me great insight into mom’s thoughts, life and her dreams.

Interestingly, the staff at the nursing home told us that we were quite unusual in visiting mom every day because many families never visit their elders but rather dump them off and leave them. Embrace this time and give thanks that you have this time with her before she is gone. God bless this young lady for caring for her grandma so much.

—Loving Son

Dear Loving Son: This is wonderful advice. Many readers responded to the letter in similar ways. Others suggested using photo albums or music to start conversations or pull back older memories, which may be more graspable than more recent events. One reader also suggested the book “Creating Moments of Joy” by Jolene Brackey. I’ve found it to be a wonderful resource.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

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