Dear Eric: Our son and his girlfriend of 24 years got married by a judge. It was a civil ceremony necessary to get him on her health insurance.
He approached my wife and me and said, “We’re not into social media.” I did not glean from this that he meant we should post nothing at all.
To share the good news with my friends, I did post one photo. Late the next night, he texted us to take it down, saying, “We asked you directly not to do this.” I replied, I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that I was not to post anything at all.
I feel bad because my son seems to feel he can forbid me from sharing this news with my friends. Many are longtime friends from church who have known my son for decades. It seems to me a little pushy for him to forbid me to share with my friends what I feel is good news. He seems to want to downplay it.
Should I not have made the post and leaned more toward caution? Should I have interpreted “we’re not into social media” differently? I welcome your advice about how to perceive this situation and where to go from here.
— Deleted Post
Dear Post: Not to split hairs, but I quibble with your son’s statement that he asked you directly not to post. He actually didn’t ask you anything, and the statement could be interpreted all kinds of ways. So, your confusion is understandable.
Given that, posting, as you did, isn’t an unreasonable action. However, I’d be careful not to make too much of his request (or demand) that you take the photos down.
Yes, you are sharing with your friends, and you have a right to tell them good news, but the internet is not a closed lot, and so sharing a photo on social media has a different potential impact than verbally telling a friend or even, say, including the news in a holiday card or letter.
Once a photo is uploaded, there’s no telling what life it will take on. Even if that life is innocuous, it’s fair for your son and daughter-in-law to want to have a say over what happens to images of their faces and their wedding day. You did the right thing by deleting it. Consider the whole thing water under the bridge.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
©2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
