Dear Eric: Recently, I was making a payment on my account to a medical facility by phone. The receptionist accidentally hit the wrong number and charged me hundreds of dollars more than my actual bill. She requested a refund immediately, but it took almost two days to be processed, resulting in my account being overdrawn.
I was charged a sizable overdraft fee, which she insisted on paying since it was her fault she made that mistake. So, she deducted it from my bill and paid the difference. I don’t think she should have been liable, and I want to pay her back. What do you think? Who’s liable?
—Billing Error
Dear Billing Error: So, you’d be out of the money, and the bank gets to keep the fee for an overdraft that was quickly corrected? I dunno, the math’s not mathing to me. You’re certainly free to pay her back if you want, but it doesn’t seem like the best decision. It would be more sensible for the facility’s billing department to reach out to the bank directly to see about fixing their error.
Dear Eric: I am writing with an additional perspective on the response issued to the recent letter from “Not Looking Good,” whose wife’s anger would often escalate to the point of violence.
While I completely agree with you that the behavior is abusive and unacceptable, it is highly possible that these newly escalated displays of rage are linked to perimenopause and hormonal fluctuations. It is not to diminish the harm it is doing to the family unit, but it begs a closer look and probably some medical assessment for all of their sakes.
While symptoms vary hugely from person to person, some people experience extreme personality shifts during perimenopause. So, before assuming that the new and unacceptable violence is something to be worked around, perhaps this avenue could also be explored.
—Perimenopausal Advocate
Dear Perimenopausal Advocate: Thank you for this perspective. It’s true that there could be other factors exacerbating the letter writer’s wife’s reactions, from perimenopause, to hormonal imbalance, to depression. While it’s not my place to medically speculate, I hope the letter writer suggests that his wife have a conversation with her doctor, as well.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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