Dear Eric: I’m a right above-knee amputee. I became an amputee two years ago due to an escalated argument with my mother who stabbed me seven times while I was knocked unconscious with a bat. She was given 12 years. She’ll do six and a half. She is also my neighbor. Should I move? But also, why should I move? I bought this property as a teenager. I’ve worked all my life. Why should I give up a home I have poured blood, sweat, and tears into? Is it worth the trauma to stay?
— Want to Stay Home
Dear Home: You shouldn’t have to move. And it sounds like you have a number of years to figure out how to make your home a safe space. Talk to the local authorities and perhaps the DA that handled your case about your options for a restraining order or other protections.
However, this isn’t just about property or physical safety. Even with her incarcerated, this neighborhood is a site of violence for you, and so it’s likely that the trauma is going to keep being perpetuated if you don’t address it. You’ve suffered a huge loss, and a therapist or support group can help you process that. Tending to your emotional well-being will better set you up to make a healthy choice when she returns.
Dear Eric: Recently I was chatting with a new neighbor and said that I had lived in Chicago for a number of years prior to moving to my current city. This new neighbor looked at me and said, “I’m sorry.” When I said, “sorry about what,” he turned and walked away. Can you shed some light on this?
— Former Chicagoan
Dear Chicagoan: As someone who loves Chicago whenever I visit, I don’t think there’s any light to shed here, alas. People who feel the need to denigrate entire cities need to work on their conversational skills. Maybe get a hobby. It shows a real lack of understanding about how large the world is. It’s silly to write off an entire city. It’s silly to write off an entire block. If you don’t want to live someplace, that’s perfectly fine. But to say no one should live there or it’s beyond saving? Wow, I can’t imagine being so unimaginative.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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