Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for 47 years. He walks very fast and refuses to slow down to walk with me. He says I should keep up with him (even though it is hard for me to do so). He always just strides ahead. He even accuses me of slowing down on purpose. I believe a polite, loving husband should walk beside his wife. He is clearly neither. Who is right?
—Walker
Dear Walker: Does he expect you to magically lengthen your legs? Go sprinting through airports like an Olympian? Levitate? This strikes me as rude and short-sighted (no pun intended). It’s also a bit on the nose as a metaphor. People move at different speeds in relationships. The goal is not to force one or the other to radically change, but to find a cadence at which you can travel together comfortably.
Dear Eric: I am writing after reading the letter about how to handle beautiful greeting cards you don’t want to just throw away (“Greeting Cards”). I’d love to suggest an option that, for me, is heartwarming. When I feel the love expressed, I turn the card over and on the back write a little note. Example: “Dear ___, you sent me this card on my 80th birthday and it touched my heart. Thank you. (personal note follows). Love Forever.” Then I place the card in a folder to be distributed to the sender when I pass away. I have an individual folder for each family member. It’s my hope that they’ll feel the love returned even after I am gone.
—Feeling the Love
Dear Feeling the Love: Oh wow! The foresight and creativity of this solution took my breath away. I simply adore this! You’ve created a sort of ouroboros of love, looping back on itself forever.
Others suggested that children’s hospitals, senior centers and schools may have donation programs set up for repurposing old cards. And—important!—I used the term “throw out” in my original answer. Let me clarify: if you’re throwing the cards out, throw them in the recycling bin.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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