Dear Eric: The letter from the woman whose husband never gave feedback on her various hobbies (No Comment) reminded me of a similar situation involving me and a friend. This friend knew I was a freelance writer and occasionally asked to see my work. She was going on a long road trip, so I thought it was time to loan her a few newspaper and magazine clippings.
I’m not Tolstoy, but I’m good enough to have been published many times over the last few decades.
This friend returned from her trip and told me she had read the pieces. That was it. No comment. Nothing at all. What in the world does this mean? I purposely have not asked for feedback. It’s obvious that I would be looking for some sort of critique or comment.
I’m assuming this friend isn’t much of a writer. OK, no worries. We all have different talents. Is she jealous? I’ve never had a reaction like this, especially from someone who had been bugging me to hand over some of my essays and articles.
— Curious Writer
Dear Curious Writer:
If you’ve purposefully not asked for feedback, wouldn’t it seem rude of your friend to give it unsolicited? True, we all like to hear that we did a good job, but I think you should take your encouragement from the fact that your friend asked to read your work in the first place. She then actually read your work and told you that she read it. Of all the things to do with one’s time, she chose to spend it with words you crafted. What an honor. As Oprah once exclaimed to Lindsay Lohan, “Let’s celebrate that!”
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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