Dear Eric: I’ve been living with my niece for the past year since my mom passed. Neither of us know anyone outside of family. I lived with mom until she had to go into a nursing home. I can’t work because I’m on disability and haven’t had a job in 20 years. I haven’t made new friends in a long time. It’s a struggle to pay bills. I have food stamps and go to the pantry, but it goes fast. I need objective advice on how to get ahead.
— Falling Behind
Dear Falling: You’re confronting social problems and financial problems at once. It’s no wonder you’re overwhelmed.
Choose one small part of this seemingly insurmountable constellation of troubles and make a plan to chip away at it. If it’s your isolation you want to address, make a goal of meeting one neighbor a week, for instance.
Visit your library and ask for help locating free local financial management services or literature.
You’ve experienced a lot of upheaval in the past year. It will take time to get your bearings. Challenge yourself with manageable goals but make sure you also celebrate your wins, too.
Dear Eric: I cried when I learned that Amy Dickinson was leaving her advice column. At my age, this old heart is just so broken.
Another ending is facing me, and I don’t know where to put my feelings. Amy’s column helped me through so many sad, terrible and confusing times.
She truly helped, not in any professional way but in a kind, neighborly way.
How do I ameliorate this great sadness from losing yet another wise voice? How do I survive now in this increasingly cruel, ageist, heterosexist, and just plain mean world?
— No More Endings
Dear Endings: I’m a longtime fan of Amy’s just like you. We shared a relationship with her that I’m not trying to replace. I couldn’t. But that relationship doesn’t go away.
Many column questions are about having trouble with change. That’s human and it can be hard. It can feel like we’re being left behind. When change isn’t what we want, the world can feel full of endings.
I’ve learned that, though I can’t stop change, I can adjust my relationship to it so that I can be in the flow of change. I can see endings as also new beginnings, as invitations to dream possibilities, and as a chance to commemorate what was and what will always be. I wish that for you, as well.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
©2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
