Dear Eric: This is in response to “Walking Seniors,” whose neighbor would turn the sprinkler on them when they walked by his house. I happen to be a lawyer.
I would suggest the letter writer bypass the police who are doing nothing, go directly to his state attorney or district attorney’s office and file a complaint of harassment. And I would get a temporary restraining order through the clerk’s office against the person who owns the house.
A temporary restraining order, at least in my state, would require a hearing to make it permanent, drawing that man in front of the court, which I believe any judge in his right mind will then school him on how to be neighborly.
I have never sent an email like this. But that story kind of touched me and I think there are legal avenues this couple can pursue so they can still walk down their street, pet the cats they’ve come to love, and not be assaulted by proxy neighbors.
— Another View
Dear View: Thank you for this insight. It’s a good way to escalate the issue without escalating the conflict. Some readers responded to the letter with frustration that this couple had to endure harassing behavior from this neighbor with little recourse beyond taking matters into their own hands.
It felt important to me not to advise them to put themselves in danger, considering the neighbor’s behavior suggests there are other issues at play. So, your solution of finding other authorities who can intervene is a welcome one.
Dear Eric: In a year that has been filled with not-so-great things (family members being furloughed, health issues, rising costs), how does one tell the family you don’t want any gifts? My husband and I have plenty of things; we don’t need any things or clothing or food.
In the past, the family members have all planned lists. There are children that will get gifts from Santa, but how do we tell the rest of the fairly large family that enough is enough?
— Realistic Gift-Giving
Dear Gift-Giving: Meet their lists with a list of your own. You can make a list of charities you’d like them to contribute to in lieu of gifts, or a list of gifts that can’t be bought, like quality time or homemade treats. Or your list can have just one item: “We have everything we could want. All we ask for is your continued love and support.”
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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