Dear Eric: I would like your advice on how to respond politely when someone tries to show you phone photos while you wait for them to fish through what seems like hundreds. I am a board member of a plant society where our meetings are very busy, and I have lots to do. One older gentleman wants to show me plant photos while I am trying to set up for the meeting. I don’t want to be rude, but I have many duties. The other is a family member who likes to show photos of people I don’t know while I’m preparing for dinner or a party. I would enjoy seeing these things at another time and also not have to wait while they search through their photos. I do not want to hurt their feelings. Suggestions?
– Not Now, Please
Dear Not Now: Honesty, plain and simple, is going to be your friend here. “I’d love to see your photos, but I want to give them my full attention. Can you wait until I’m finished doing this?” You might even ask the older gentleman or the family member to help you complete your task instead of distracting you. But this, of course, depends on how good they are at helping. If they’re going to slow you down, it might be best to ask them to just organize their photos and wait a bit.
Dear Eric: I’d like to offer some additional thoughts to “Carpooling”, whose friend asked for occasional assistance in driving the friend’s mentally challenged son.
Carpooling mentioned that they and the friend are members of the same church and also attend Bible study together.
Before the next Bible study (or other event at their church), Carpooling may wish to say, “I’m not always able to drive your son on days you may need some assistance. Perhaps if you mention it to the pastor or our group members, they can put together a list of volunteers who might also be able to lend a hand.”
If even one or two others can do so, that alone can ease some of the financial burden a bit. Here’s the thing about volunteerism: you often have willing volunteers along with those in need, but the two haven’t been linked together.
– Friend in Deed
Dear Friend: Love this suggestion. It’s a great way of solving the problem while also fostering community. Thanks for writing!
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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