Dear Eric: My spouse and I have been married for three years. My spouse’s ex still has my spouse displayed publicly in their social media profile picture. They have been asked repeatedly to remove the photo, and they have refused to do so.
The reason that this is such an issue is because my spouse’s ex was extremely abusive and yet accused my spouse of every terrible thing under heaven during the divorce in order to get as much alimony as possible.
This person made the entire process so much longer and so much more painful than it needed to be, and yet still has the audacity to keep my spouse on display. I find it sick and disturbing. What action can we take to get this photo removed from my spouse’s social media?
— Concerned Spouse
Dear Concerned: Legal protections regarding online photos can vary by state, so your best option is to consult an attorney who can tell you if there is any recourse. This could be a violation of privacy or harassment.
However, continuing to be engaged with this person, even indirectly through an attorney, sounds like it’s only going to bring more strife into your life.
If the pictures aren’t inappropriate, one option is to block the ex. Even if the ex is pretending to friends that the divorce didn’t happen, it’s not up to you to convince the ex that it did. It may bring you more peace to cut the ex out of your proverbial picture.
Dear Eric: Can you cast any light on sending money with sympathy cards? I have never heard of that in my 77 years of life. Personally, I would feel insulted if somebody put money in a sympathy card. It’s as if they’re attaching a monetary amount of money to their sympathy.
— Sympathy Query
Dear Sympathy: While certainly not a requirement, some people put money in sympathy cards as a gesture of support. Funerals can be costly, even with insurance, and there are a lot of ancillary expenses that come up.
The intention isn’t to put an amount on sympathy, but rather to lend a helping hand when needed. But, if it doesn’t make you feel comfortable, you don’t have to accept it, or you can donate it.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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