Dear Eric: When we moved to our new home, we realized we had a great view of our town’s Fourth of July fireworks. Last year we invited a diverse group for a barbecue and fireworks viewing.
One of the guests, a relatively new acquaintance, thought it was too hot to stay outside all evening, coming outside just for the fireworks. This left my husband outside grilling and entertaining the others, while I stayed inside with one guest.
I do not want to do this again. I’d like to enjoy all our guests. I know this guest will expect an invitation again. How do I let her know she needs to “join the party” if she wants to come for the fireworks? Due to the traffic situation in our small town, the road in closes about 6 p.m. on July Fourth, so it’s not possible for her to arrive just before the fireworks.
—Outside Only
Dear Outside: As the host, you get to define where the party is and how the party works. Which means that this year you can tell your guests in advance that the party is only going to be outside this year. (Easier cleanup, privacy, etc.) Or you can let her entertain herself inside, should she choose to go in. This second option might seem a little silly—who wants an acquaintance wandering through their home or sitting idly on the couch? But this, too, can be a form of hospitality. She wants to be at the gathering, but she wants to stay cool. She certainly had no issue deciding to go inside and make herself comfortable. So, if you’d rather be with the rest of your guests, consider releasing yourself from the expectation that you have to create a secondary event inside for her. Paying the bill for the AC is hospitable enough.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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