Asking Eric: Grieving pet owner ponders new dog

Dear Eric: I am 71 years old. Our dog, who has been with us for 17 years, has cancer. He has only days to live. For my entire life, I have lived with pets. While I would like to have another dog, for the first time in my life, it is likely that a new pet will outlive me. Would it be thoughtless for me to take on a new pet at this stage of my life?

— Grieving Granddad

Dear Granddad: I’m so sorry to hear about your beloved pet. I know that there’s a lot of love there and a lot of grief. There are many pets that still need love, so please don’t let your stage of life impede you. Consider adopting a senior pet, as they can sometimes be harder to adopt.

Dear Eric: Several weeks ago, I asked whether someone’s refusal to use his hearing aids was being disrespectful to me after I had asked him several times. I showed him the letter I wrote, and he took it seriously. He has started wearing them in the venues where it makes a difference to me which is all I wanted in the first place so that has made a big improvement in our relationship.

— Win-Win

Dear Win-Win: I’m so glad to read this for his sake and for your sake. While I love receiving letters from folks, this update illustrates a great practice that we all can employ. Sometimes it helps to just write out your thoughts or feelings on an issue. Oftentimes, I do it just for myself, so I can be clear-headed in conversation. I like that you took it a step further and used the letter as a jumping-off point for a productive conversation with your friend. A lot of us struggle to find the right words to say in the face of a problem, disagreement, or conflict. Writing it out and starting from there can really help.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

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