Dear Eric: A couple of months ago, at a party hosted by a friend—let’s call him Jaxsen—I met this guy. We talked briefly, and he seemed nice, but I didn’t ask for his number because I wasn’t that interested then.
A little over a month later, I ran into Jaxsen again. He mentioned that this guy had liked me. I was flattered but didn’t think to ask for his contact information at the time.
Now I’m wondering if and how I should follow up to get the guy’s contact information. I could easily get Jaxsen’s number from a mutual friend, but I’m hesitant to reach out just to request someone else’s phone number. It’s almost been a month since I last saw Jaxsen. Is there some way I can ask without awkwardness, or should I let it go?
—Jumping Through Hoops
Dear Jumping Through Hoops: Just reach out to Jaxsen and get the information. Don’t worry about the awkward factor. It’s obviously still on your mind and it seems, at least a month ago, it was on Jaxsen’s mind. Say, “a while ago you mentioned your friend’s interest. I’d love to get his number if you don’t mind.”
Perhaps you fear Jaxsen will judge you. Remember, he brought up his friend to you. A connection is probably what he wants.
But what matters most is what you want. We live in a disconnected age. It can seem strange to ask others to help us make connections, but that’s more crucial now. It’s noble to say, “I’ve been thinking about this; I’m open to possibility. Please help me connect.”
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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