Dear Amy: My godson is getting married soon and since he and his fiancée live in a small apartment, they are not listed on any bridal registry.
However on their wedding website, they suggest that if guests want to make a donation to honor their wedding, to give their gift to a local clinic that performs abortions.
I do not condemn their choice of being pro-abortion, but to place that on their wedding invitation is beyond my belief.
I will not give to an abortion clinic (my choice).
I was planning on giving them a wedding check and will be upset if it goes to an abortion clinic.
What should I do?
– Wedding Dilemma
Dear Dilemma: Many couples suggest causes for their wedding guests to donate to in their honor. Clinics offering abortion services also offer many other important reproductive health services to women.
If you don’t condemn this couple’s stand on abortion, then surely you wouldn’t condemn their choice to donate their own money toward supporting a clinic.
And if you give them money for their wedding gift, this money will no longer be your money, but their money, to spend as they choose.
In lieu of cash, you could give them your Aunt Bertha’s old gravy boat, but they could then turn around and sell it and donate the proceeds.
My point is that you don’t have the right to control where the gift you give to them lands.
A gift card to a local restaurant or establishment that aligns with their interests (aside from abortion services) might make you feel better.
Dear Amy: “Modern Day Greta Garbo” expressed the desire for weeks of solitude, away from her husband.
Your answer was terrible!
Marriage is about being together. Do I sometimes want to be away from my husband of four decades? Of course! But we’re married.
You never even took her husband’s wishes into account.
– Upset
Dear Upset: My answer offered several ways for her and her husband to work this out, so, of course, she needs to discuss this with him and take his wishes into account.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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