All 13 Girl Scout Cookie flavors, ranked worst to best

Girl Scout Cookie season is back. It’s the magical time of year when armies of pint-sized entrepreneurs inevitably get me to buy a $6 box of cookies I don’t need.

Am I a pushover? Probably. But it’s also paid dividends over the years in helping fuel my research into the Girl Scouts’ crunchy catalog, which now boasts 13 flavors.

These developments have proven to be a threat to my waistline and my wallet. I’ve got to keep my head on a swivel when I’m out there. You never know where those crafty cookie ninjas will pop up next with their bright tables and towers of cardboard treasure boxes.

Grocery stores have long been a hunting ground for suckers like me who think they’re being healthy by buying spinach — and immediately changing gears when they see a box of Thin Mints. This year, they caught me at a brewery and I bought four boxes.

There was a time when a Girl Scout Cookie run just meant grabbing one or two varieties. But this current lineup? It’s absolutely stacked. They have French toast and s’mores cookies now. What am I gonna do, not buy them?

The worst is when you get that little spreadsheet and you get to pour over all the options like it’s one of those old Scholastic Book Fair catalogs. (This is a very specific ‘90s reference that only some people will get. But those who do get it will feel it in their bones.)

Girl Scout Cookies, Ranked Worst to Best

You never know when you’re going to be ambushed by a cookie sale. Let’s face it, if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re going to buy some if that happens. You’re best off knowing which cookies are best. The last thing I want to see is people out there shame-eating a box of Do-Si-Dos that aren’t as good as people remember.

There are 13 varieties of cookies available in 2024. Options may depend on where you live. Some cookies (like the Toffee-tastic) are only available via shipping. Meanwhile, the Raspberry Rally (which debuted in 2023) was discontinued this year.

The Rankings

N/A: Raspberry Rally – Farewell Raspberry Rally. We hardly knew ye. At least I didn’t. I never got a chance to try it.

13. Rah-Rah Raisin – OK, let’s calm down here. No one is going “Rah-Rah” over a raisin cookie. They’re the fool’s gold of cookies. No matter how many times I see them, I have a moment where I think, “Oh! Chocolate chip cookies!” — only to be met with disappointment.

Rah-Rah Raisin is clearly aiming for oatmeal raisin vibes. It does a good job in the flavor department. But it’s not as chewy as you’d like to see in this style. It’s dry and crumbly like a Chips Ahoy.

Let’s be clear: This isn’t a bad cookie. But something has to be ranked worst on this list.

12. Trefoils – Trefoils are fine. They’re standard shortbread, which is the baseline replacement-level flavor of the cookie world. The only people who buy shortbread cookies are grandmothers so they can use the circular tins to store their sewing equipment.

Trefoils just come in a normal container, so even the grandma market is out here.

11. Do-Si-Dos – These just feel like wasted potential. They should be a rockstar cookie with a Nutter Butter-like flavor.

Instead, they’re just OK. I always forget how underwhelming these are. Every time I see one, I get excited — only for the peanut butter and cookie flavors to both fall flat. It’s like finding the Michael Bay “Transformers” movies on TV before realizing, “Hold on, these movies don’t hold up at all.”

10. Caramel Chocolate Chip – Now we’re getting into the good cookies. Caramel Chocolate Chip is the first cookie on the list that I’d be excited to eat if I saw it.

These cookies are gluten-free and very much taste like it. There’s a clear oat flavor in the cookie. On the flipside, the caramel and chocolate flavors don’t really come through. It’s mostly just a buttery-sweet flavor. It’s like a tea cake in how crumbly and delicate it is.

If I had tasted this blind, I would not have thought “chocolate and caramel” as the flavor. But they still taste good.

9. Savannah Smiles – I was surprised at how much I liked these cookies. They carry a dynamic pop of tart lemon flavor that mellows out into a buttery sweetness. They’re a bit abrasive and messy-looking. But once you tuck into them, you find yourself wanting to reach for another one.

8. Lemon-Ups – The Lemon-Ups are more muted and mellow than their bright colors and sugar glaze may have you think. The cookie itself is short and crumbly. It carries a pleasant, buttery cookie flavor that bends toward lemon vibes at the end.

The flavor won’t knock your socks off. But they’re fun to eat.

7. Caramel deLites/Samoas – These cookies — whatever you end up calling them — get a lot of love. It’s easy to see why. The shape is fun to eat and they have a nice texture.

So why are they in the middle of the pack? Well, this is where I’m going to make some enemies.

The coconut drags down what would otherwise be an elite cookie. I’m not a huge coconut person, but I can appreciate the flavor when it’s done well. Here, it just adds an unnecessary cloud of flavor that hangs over the chocolate and caramel.

There’s nothing wrong with a coconut cookie. I think a chocolate-coconut cookie would be great. But what grinds my gears is that there’s no version of Caramel deLites/Samoas without coconut. We already have two names for the cookie. They should just make one the non-coconut version.

6. Toffee-tastic – This flavor isn’t just “good for being gluten-free.” This is just a really good cookie.

The toffee flavor is present in each bite, changing up the texture and adding some buttery sweetness. The cookie has some delightful pockets of caramelized sugar. It’s enough to get you excited, but not so much as to get stuck in your teeth.

Apparently, you can make a solid shortbread-adjacent cookie with rice flour and tapioca starch.

5. Adventurefuls – These cookies have the cool, slick chocolate and shiny outer coating you see on Thin Mints — but without the mint flavor. It also has a layer of caramel-ish cookie stuff. I’m hesitant to really call it caramel since it doesn’t pack that much flavor. However, this is still a really good chocolate cookie.

4. Tagalongs – This is the first of the top-tier cookies. From this point on is the Mount Rushmore of a good Girl Scout Cookie order.

The best part of Tagalongs are their texture. They have that wonderful juxtaposition between the soft peanut butter and crunchy cookie. These things are simply a joy to eat.

Chocolate-peanut butter remains an elite flavor combination. But for whatever reason, the peanut butter and chocolate in this cookie don’t pack as much punch as I remember.

3. Toast-Yay! – These French toast-inspired cookies are a departure from the typical small-cookie formula. They’re the only cookie you can’t eat in one bite without looking like a maniac. That’s good. Because these are worth savoring in multiple bites. You get a nice blend of flavors between the sweet icing and crunchy cookie. The cinnamon flavor here is a welcome addition to the cookie lineup.

2. Girl Scout S’mores – I could eat a hundred of these.

First off, the chocolate flavor surpasses any other cookie on this list — and pairs wonderfully with the icy sweetness of the marshmallow cream. Then there’s the graham cookies, which adds a nice, crumbly foundation to let the two dueling flavors shine.

This is the closest we get to an Oreo experience in Girl Scout Cookies. You get the little squish of the cream as you bite down, giving you this wonderful juxtaposition between the crunchy cookie and gooey creme

1. Thin Mints – I could eat a thousand of these.

Everything on the list up until now was a cookie. Thin Mints are a lifestyle, a force of nature. I don’t eat Thin Mints so much as I turn into a cookie wood chipper, grinding these down by the sleeve and coating everything in a 10-foot radius in a layer of minty cookie dust.

The flavors of the cookie are mild, yet delightful. The chocolate is present in the glossy coating and flakey cookie. Meanwhile, the mind is a buoyant presence that keeps everything light and delicious without making it overly sweet.

The brilliance of the Thin Mint is its approachability. Look at it. It’s just a little cookie. Just a little treat. It’s not even a real dessert. Just have one.

What’s that? You ate 17 of them? Yeah, that will happen.

—

“I ate it so you don’t have to” is a regular food column looking at off-beat eats, both good and bad. It runs every other Thursday-ish at noon-ish.

You can send any praise/food suggestions to nomalley@masslive.com. Please send all complaints about where Nick ranked Samoas to nsimmons@masslive.com. You can check out the rest of the series here.

This post was originally published on this site