Top 5 Best Ways to explain this column:
5. Something I’m going to do four times a year,
4. A weird window into my brain’s need to rank things.
3. An excuse to slip some things in that aren’t always sports.
2. An occasional way to finish my Sunday column early in a busy week.
1. Something that is fun to write and hopefully fun to read.
Top 5 Terrible Sports Ideas
5. Making Rob Manfred commissioner of Major League Baseball
4. Expanding the NCAA Tournament from 64 to 68 teams
3. FoxTrax – The short-lived hated effect FOX put on the puck when it carried the NHL
2. Baseball’s All-Star Game determining home field advantage in the World Series
1. The NBA In-Season Tournament
Top 5 Possible Patriots starting QBs in 2024 that aren’t being talked about enough
If the Patriots don’t finish badly enough to draft Caleb Williams or Drake Maye, that doesn’t mean Mac Jones is automatically the guy again. These are five guys who could be looking for work – they’ve either lost starting jobs or could be replaced by a draft pick — who might be a fit in Foxborough.
5. Trey Lance
4. Malik Willis
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Top 5 Red Sox pitchers you’d want to start a playoff game
Inspired by Nathan Eovaldi’s terrific postseason for the Rangers, this isn’t the list of best Red Sox pitchers of all time or regular season pitchers. This is who you’d want starting a critical postseason game which is why Pedro Martinez and Roger Clemens aren’t on this list.
5. Nathan Eovaldi — His numbers are confusing because he pitched in relief as well as starting. His starter numbers are excellent. He was 4-1 in six postseason starts in Boston. He allowed 10 runs in 34 innings for a 2.64 ERA. He never had a bad start. He was outstanding in the winner-take-all Wild Card game in 2021 allowing four hits and no walks while striking out eight in 5.1 innings.
4. Curt Schilling – We remember him a little better than he was with the Red Sox because of the bloody sock drama. He was a great big-game pitcher in his career, but just a good one in Boston. He was 6-1 with a 3.28 ERA for the Red Sox in the postseason.
3. Bruce Hurst – He had three postseason wins in 1986 and would have been the MVP of the World Series if the Red Sox had won.
2. Luis Tiant – He was 3-0 in the postseason in 1975. The Red Sox won every game he started.
1. Josh Beckett — His 2007 postseason was as good as any Red Sox pitcher ever. He was 4-0 and allowed just four runs in 30 innings while striking out 35. His 2007 for the Red Sox was as good as Tim Thomas’ 2011 for the Bruins.
Top 5 Bruins Teenagers
In honor of Matt Poitras sticking in Boston, these are the top Bruins performances by teenagers. It turned out to be a tough list to make. I started it by penciling in Patrice Bergeron (after Orr) and he didn’t even make it.
5. Milt Schmidt — Back when they only played 48-game season in the NHL, Milt Schmidt had 15 goals and 22 assists as a 19-year-old.
4. Steve Kasper — If future lists have an all-underrated Bruins team, Kasper, who was one of the NHL’s best defensive centers, would be on it. But he was a strong offensive presence too with 21 goal and 35 assists as 19-year-old.
3. Sergei Samsonov — While Joe Thornton was the more hyped youngster of the era, Sergei Samsonov, the Bruins’ undersized, but immensely talented Russian, had 22 goals and 25 assists as a 19-year-old rookie in 1997-98 and won the Calder Trophy.
2. Ray Bourque — The Hall of Fame hit the ice rolling in 1979-80 with 17 goals and 48 assists as a 19-year-old and won the Calder as well.
1. Bobby Orr – All Bruins ranking lists end here. Orr was the rookie of the year at 18 and won the Norris trophy at 19. He was better at 19 than just about anybody else at their peak.
Top 5 Better Names for the Women’s Pro Hockey Team in Boston
The Professional Women’s Hockey League trademarked Boston Wicked as a potential team name for its local entry. That’s not only a bad nickname that sounds like something out of Roller Derby, but it indicates they don’t know how “wicked” is actually used in New England. It would be like calling a team the Boston Very.
Fortunately, I can do better:
5. Boston Privateers — With no Colonial navy the Americans hired pirates to fight for them against the British. There are all sorts of terrific ship logo possibilities and the like.
4. Massachusetts Midnight Riders — Can’t go wrong with ties to American Revolution history in New England. Boston Battalion works too.
3. Boston Bobbis — This is a nod to Bobbi Gibb, the woman who forced her way into the Boston Marathon. They could use a blue and gold color scheme much like the Red Sox City Connect jerseys.
2. Boston Glory — This works on two levels.
Bostonian Julia Ward Howe (who left New York and preferred Boston) wrote the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” (Glory, Glory Hallelujah) and was a leading early feminist. The first African American American army unit in the Civil War was from Boston and inspired the movie “Glory.”
1. Boston Shamrocks — A new franchise in a new league could probably use some additional revenue. In addition to being a fun-sounding name, how well would a black and green jersey with a shamrock crest jersey sell in New England?
Top 5 Boston Browns
Top 5 new sweater numbers for Matt Poitras
One more Poitras-themed top 5. He’s a 5-foot-11 center wearing an offensive lineman number that he was given in preseason when nobody thought he’d make the team. He needs a new number. Here are five good ones.
5. 55
4. 44.
3. 20
2. 91 — (Inverting the 19 he wore in juniors)
1. 10
Top 5 Sports Months
5. November — World Series finishes; College football rivalry games; Thanksgiving football; college basketball starts with tournaments; NFL, NHL, NBA in full swing.
4. January – NFL Playoffs; College Football Playoff and New Years Day games; Winter Classic; NHL, NBA in full swing
3. June — Stanley Cup and NBA Finals; US Open golf; French Open; MLB in full swing.
2. April – Opening Day, The Masters, Final Fours and Frozen Four, NFL Draft
1. October – Baseball playoffs; Start of NHL and NBA; NFL and college football in full swing.
Top 5 Donuts in Massachusetts
5. Donut King, Weymouth
4. Mrs. Murphy’s, Southwick
2. Basic Batch, Milford
1. Kane’s Saugus and Boston
Top 5 Taylor Swift songs Patriots could play after a Travis Kelce mistake
The Patriots host the Chiefs on Dec. 18. Assuming Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are still together, the Gillette Stadium P.A. should be ready with appropriate Swift songs to play, to taunt the All-Pro tight end. Such as:
5. If Kelce drops a pass — “Dancing with Our Hands Tied”
4. If he scores a touchdown — “Shake It Off”
3. Argues an official’s call — “You Need to Calm Down”
2. When he first takes the field — “Anti Hero”
1. Applicable for any Kelce mistake — “Better Man”
Follow MassLive sports columnist Matt Vautour on Twitter at @MattVautour424.
