The 3 best (and 3 weirdest) things I ate at The Big E this year

This year, The Big E taught me a lesson about vegan food and pickles.

First: vegetables are good. Believe it or not, my favorite thing I’ve eaten this year is a boat of veggies and other vegan fixings. (No, my mouth is not broken. No more than normal, at least.)

Second: The whole pickle craze is really starting to get out of control.

The second part isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The Big E is for pushing the envelope, going crazy, pulling at the seams of reality by seeing what can be deep-fried, slathered in pickles or transmogrified into a burger-like abomination.

But sometimes those crazy pickle experiments end in disaster.

As is the case every year, I braved the concrete labyrinth that is The Big E to see what weird new foods have been foisted on an unexpecting populace.

Some of it was good. Some of it was really weird. Here are my findings:

The 3 best things I ate

1. The Big Sexy | From The Broccoli Bar | Behind the Vermont Building | $15/$18

That’s right. Mark it down. Tuesday, Sept. 16, 2024: This was the date that I stood on my internet soapbox and told the world to go to The Big E and eat vegetables.

But don’t think of this as vegan food. It’s good food that just happens to be made from plants — like French fries.

The Broccoli Bar is a wonderful (and colorful) addition to The Big E this year. The vegan food truck is the spot to get “The Big Sexy,” which is a platter containing stir fry, tempura, dumplings, BBQ dry rub, sticky rice and golden milk curry.

It’s delicious — and was served to me by a guy wearing a broccoli hat.

You get a wonderful array of textures and flavors on the plate. The broccoli (in crispy and deep-fried tempura form) carries a crazy amount of flavor through the wonderful seasonings. The dumplings are chewy pockets of savory goodness. The mix of toppings add refreshing pops of flavor and zings of citrus. Then there’s the bed of savory rice and creamy curry at the bottom.

I tore through this platter and didn’t feel terrible afterward. It’s like I wasn’t at The Big E at all.

Read more: The 2024 Big E Eater’s Guide: What to eat and where to find it

2. Cinny Stix | From The Vermont Marshmallow Company | Behind the Vermont Building | $3

The Vermont Marshmallow Company is one of my favorite hidden gems at the fair. Tucked away in a little trailer, it has some of the most delicious sweet treats at the fair — and at a price point that won’t break the bank.

This year, they’ve added a couple of new items, including the Cinny Stix, which are a great deal at just $3.

There’s nothing fancy here. It’s just three cinnamon marshmallows on a stick that get toasted with a torch.

But the results are amazing. The marshmallows are toasted so they get this wonderful caramelized exterior — like a creme brulee. Then the marshmallows themselves give an awesome pop of not-to-sweet cinnamon flavor.

3. Spic-E Burger | From The Emporium | In the Better Living Center | $18.72

I was fully expecting this to go in the “weird” section. But I have to admit it: this burger is positively delicious.

The Spic-E Burger is the fired-up version of the Craz-E Burger, which got an overhaul this year. It starts with a smash burger patty that gets topped with cheese, bacon onion rings and jalapeno poppers. That’s served on a “bun” that consists of one plain doughnut and one glazed doughnut that’s rolled in Flaming Hot Cheetos.

The end result is a midnight rave of loud, outrageous flavors that somehow work together. The spice and crunch of the jalapeno poppers cuts through all the starch and adds a delightful zing. The glazed doughnut adds a playful — and appealing — sweetness to the equation. You then get flashes of saltiness from the bacon and a tsunami of savoriness from the burger itself.

It’s bonkers how well this thing works. This burger is like a fine-tuned tank that can somehow do 80 mph on the freeway. It shouldn’t work. But it does.

The 3 weirdest things I ate

1. “Kind of a Big Dill” Crepe | From Moesmallows | In the Massachusetts Building | $12

The folks at Moeshmallows were excited when I ordered the “Kind of a Big Dill.” I was the first one that day — and maybe the first one all fair to do so.

I can see why others were scared off. This crepe is filled with ham, cheese and a dill pickle marshmallow. I’d never even considered that third item a possibility until it was suddenly presented to me.

The results? Weird. But not bad.

I liked this better than I expected. I thought the dill pickle marshmallow tasted a lot like sweet scrambled eggs that happened to have some pickles thrown on there.

I can’t believe I’m saying this. I’d absolutely eat this again.

2. Pretzel Beer with a Salt-Caramel Rim | From E.B.’s Food For Fun | $13

I thought the pretzel beer was going to be fun. It was not fun.

The beer itself is a Shock Top wheat ale that’s being promoted as a special offering for The Big E. That part is fine. It’s relatively light and refreshing.

The problem occurs when the beer cup gets hit with a “salted caramel rim.”

In reality, i’s more like a “salt-caramel” rim. I say that because the “salt” in question are those huge chunks of rock salt you get on giant pretzels.

Giant chunks of salt do not mix with beer. It’s like a fizzy car crash in your mouth that tastes like salty cardboard.

3. Pickle Juice | From Veggie Patch | On Commonwealth Ave | $3

Before the fair started, The Big E released a list of new foods options. One of those was “Pickle Juice” at Veggie Patch. No additional information was provided.

I was curious. What exactly was this? Surely, it must be some creative concoction. Maybe it’s some sort of lemonade.

Nope. This is just straight, unadulterated pickle that’s poured into a cup.

As is the case with all the bad food decisions I’ve made at The Big E, I really have no one to blame but myself.