Say goodbye to ‘Use Yah Blinkah.’
Federal highway officials have given states two years to implement a bevy of changes included in a 1,100-page manual released last month — and one of the chief casualties are quirky or funny warning and instructional signs that have provided drivers on the ragged edge of road rage a moment’s worth of peace.
The end of quirky signs also spells the end of any semblance of joy on the road for Bay State drivers, who routinely risk life and limb in the dead of night (or at 4 p.m. in December) on the pitch black Massachusetts Turnpike or the exercise in natural selection that passes for highways in the Greater Boston area.
Officials at the U.S. Federal Highway Administration, no doubt populated by mithless bureaucrats, said overhead electronic signs with obscure meanings, references to pop culture or those intended to be funny will be banned in 2026 because they can be misunderstood or distracting to drivers, according to the Associated Press.
The agency, which is part of the U.S. Department of Transportation, said signs should be “simple, direct, brief, legible and clear” and only be used for important information such as warning drivers of crashes ahead, adverse weather conditions and traffic delays. Seatbelt reminders and warnings about the dangers of speeding or driving impaired are also allowed.
It is difficult to imagine anything more direct or to-the-point for Massachusetts drivers than “Use Yah Blinkah,” but Bay Staters can take some measure of comfort knowing they won’t be suffering alone.
Also destined for the historical scrap heap: “Visiting in-laws? Slow down, get there late,” from Ohio; “Don’t drive Star Spangled Hammered,” from Pennsylvania; “Hocus pocus, drive with focus” from New Jersey; and “Hands on the wheel, not your meal” from Arizona.
You can find some other funny highways signs, courtesy of Insider, right here.
And the Grand Canyon State, with more than 300 electronic signs above its highways, may be the undisputed funny highway signs champ.
For the last seven years, the state’s Department of Transportation has held a contest to find the funniest and most creative messages, according to the Associated Press.
Anyone could submit ideas, drawing more than 3,700 entries last year. The winners were “Seatbelts always pass a vibe check” and “I’m just a sign asking drivers to use turn signals.”
“The humor part of it, we kind of like,” said state Rep. David Cook, a Republican from Globe, told Phoenix TV station CBS 5. “I think in Arizona the majority of us do, if not all of us.”
He said he didn’t understand the fuss.
“Why are you trying to have the federal government come in and tell us what we can do in our own state? Prime example that the federal government is not focusing on what they need to be,” he said, according to the Associated Press.
