I wasn’t prepared for the smell.
The new Coca-Cola Oreos with popping candy are the latest horrific sugar-science experiment to hit store shelves. Against all odds — and my better judgment — I have to say they’re not terrible.
They actually do taste like Coke. They also smell like it — to an alarming extent. The cookies even add an element of illusory dizziness with the inclusion of the popping candy.
Over the past decade, I’ve eaten nearly 100 different types of Oreos. This may be the most surprised I’ve been by a flavor.
I thought it would be a disaster, but it soared above expectations to land a grade of “not terrible.”
It’s like watching a drunken co-worker with surprisingly good pipes sing Andrea Bocelli at karaoke. Wow, it’s cool that they did it. But I’m not going out of my way to experience it again.
Coke Oreos | Review
The experience of eating these cookies is a bizarre one — both physically and philosophically.
Somehow the Coca-Cola Oreos have managed to dredge up the central conflicts of both “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer.”
I sat there, staring at this Frankenstein’s Cookie Monster and pondered the downward spiral of modern consumerism and really tried to evaluate some things internally. I was also a little afraid my head was going to explode.
What do they taste like?
The Cola-Cola Oreo has three flavor components. There’s one normal chocolate cookie. Then there’s the red cookie, which tastes like a Golden Oreo shell. Finally, you’ve got the creme, which carries a surprisingly accurate simulation of cola flavor — along with popping candy.
It’s mellow-sweet in the way that Coca-Cola is. I got little notes of spices (I swear I tasted cinnamon). My brain was also convinced that I tasted cherry. But that might have just been the illusion of the red and white cookies.
That cola flavor is contorted in some confounding ways by the vanilla and chocolate from the cookies — but not too much. That strange spin of flavor is launched into another sphere of peculiar by the popping candy, which crackles at the back of your mouth after you’ve chewed for a little bit.
So are they any good?
“Good” is a strong word for these. They’re tolerable. They’re interesting. They’re not terrible.
I’m glad I tried one. It was fun. I even tried a few more for fun.
But I don’t know if I’d get another box ever.
The final word: Updated Oreo rankings
I’m adding this Oreo to my ongoing rankings, which have been in the works since 2014. I’ve got them at No. 69 overall.
As always, these rankings are not scientific, but they are correct:
93. Banana Split Oreo
92. Cookie Dough Oreo
91. Cherry Cola Oreo
90. Berry Oreo
89. Limeade Oreo
88. Apple Pie Oreo
87. Reduced Fat Oreo
86. Oreo Thins Piña Colada
85. Caramel Apple Oreo
84. Key Lime Pie Oreo
83. Fruit Punch Oreo
82. Oreo Thins Pistachio
81. Hot & Spicy Cinnamon Oreo
80. Sour Patch Kids Oreo
79. Gluten-Free Golden Oreo
78. Pumpkin Spice Oreo (2014 version)
77. Mystery Oreo (AKA Fruity Crisp)
76. Caramel Coconut Oreo
75. PB&J Oreo
74. Oreo Bites Fudge Dipped Mint Creme
73. Lemon Oreo
72. Oreo Thins Tiramisu
70. Oreo Thins Salted Caramel
69. Coca-Cola Oreo
68. Oreo Thins Lemon
67. Fudge-Covered Oreo
66. Cookies & Creme Oreo
65. Chocolate Creme Oreo (Golden)
64. Salted Caramel Brownie Oreo
63. Oreo Thins Coconut
62. Snickerdoodle Oreo
61. Peppermint Bark Oreos
60. Peeps Oreo
59. Golden Oreo
58. Oreo Thins (Golden)
57. Golden Double Stuf Oreo
56. Neapolitan Oreo
55. Blueberry Pie Oreo
54. Oreo Thins Extra Stuf
53. Jelly Donut Oreo
52. Kettle Corn Oreo
51. Pumpkin Spice Oreo (2022 Version)
50. Chocolate Hazelnut Oreo
49. Oreo Mini
48. Oreo Bites Fudge Dipped Original
47. Oreo Mini Golden
46. Caramel Mocha Latte Oreo
45. Java Chip Oreo
44. Dunkin’ Donuts Mocha Oreo
43. Peanut Butter Creme Oreo
42. Peanut Butter Cup Oreo
41. Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie
40. Chocolate Creme Oreo
39. Dark Chocolate Oreo
38. Rocky Road Trip Oreo
37. Black & White Cookie Oreo
36. Most Oreo Oreo
35. Mega Stuf Oreo (Vanilla Cookie)
34. Oreo Bites Fudge Dipped Coconut
33. Star Wars Oreo
32. Space Dunk Oreo
31. Gingerbread Oreo
30. Carrot Cake Oreo
29. Cotton Candy Oreo
28. Mint Creme Oreo
27. Most Stuf Oreo
25. Oreo Thins Dark Chocolate
24. Moon Oreos
23. Fireworks Oreo
22. Birthday Cake (Chocolate Cookie) Oreo
21. Triple Double Oreo
20. Maple Syrup Oreo
19. Mystery Oreo (2019 Edition, AKA Churro)
18. Red Velvet Oreo
17. Cinnamon Bun Oreo
16. Oreo Thins (Chocolate)
15. Cookie Butter Oreo
14. Oreo Thins (Mint)
13. Chocolate Marshmallow Oreo
12. Dirt Cake Oreo
11. Blackout Cake Oreo
10. Mega Stuf Oreo
Tied 8. Double Stuf Gluten-Free Oreo
8. Double Stuf Oreo
7. Oreo Thins
Tied-5. Gluten-Free Oreo
5. Oreo
4. Hot Cocoa Oreo
3. Golden Birthday Cake Oreo
2. Marshmallow Krispy Creme Oreo
1. S’mores Oreo
Want more “I Ate It” food coverage? You can follow Nick on Instagram (@NickAteIt) and TikTok (also @NickAteIt)
“I ate it so you don’t have to” is a regular food column looking at off-beat eats, both good and bad. I picked the name years ago and now we’re sort of stuck with it.
You can send any praise/food suggestions to nomalley@masslive.com. Please send all criticisms and complaints about my rankings to mbarrow@masslive.com. You can check out the rest of the series here.
