Jessica Lam of Uxbridge was seeking a miracle.
In January 2023, the then-24-year-old Northeastern University student was diagnosed with kidney failure.
Lam was terrified. One moment, she was attending concerts with her friends and studying at her graduate school. Now, all of a sudden, she was back at home with her parents, heading to treatment three times a week, taking dialysis and feeling incredibly sick.
“I was supposed to graduate in the spring of 2023,” Lam said. “So I had to delay starting my life.”
In desperation, Lam wrote a post on Facebook in April 2023 asking if people were willing to be a live donor, or knew anyone who was. She wasn’t sure anyone would respond.
That message resulted in Lam finding a new kidney and forming a new relationship with her donor, who lives just one town over from Lam.
Lam’s donor is 53-year-old Cara Bernard of Whitinsville, who donated her kidney through surgery at UMass Memorial Medical Center on Nov. 7, 2023.
Bernard told MassLive she was no stranger to donations before, as she donated blood and bone marrow to people in her town. She was inspired to donate her kidney after her daughter, Lauren, showed her Lam’s Facebook post.
“I’m a big believer in it,” Bernard said about donations. “I want to be a donor for any of these people — no matter who they are.”
The surgery was successful and both Lam and Bernard are living healthy lives, they both told MassLive.
One year after the surgery, the two officially met in person for the first time. Since then, the two have been in contact — wishing each other a happy Thanksgiving and staying in touch mostly by text.
“I didn’t know Jess, but she’s my daughters age,” Bernard said. “I can’t imagine what goes through everybody when someone all of a sudden becomes ill and you’re in such a need for this (kidney) for survival.”
Getting sick and asking for help
Lam, now 26, was attending her second year in graduate school at Northeastern University. She had a full-time job, a group of friends and was excited to graduate the following spring.
During the Christmas break, however, Lam began to get sick. She first experienced headaches, which she initially thought was due to stress from school work. Lam then began to grow sicker and weaker, and thought she may have caught COVID.
After a trip to the emergency room, however, Lam was told by doctors that her kidneys were not functioning properly. She was put on dialysis, but was told that there was a chance her kidneys could repair themselves because she was so young.
A month later, Lam was diagnosed with kidney failure.
“I was terrified,” Lam said. “I was living in Boston, doing normal things and I felt that all got ripped away from me.”
For months, Lam was waiting for a potential matching donor. In desperation, she posted a plea on Facebook in April 2023, calling on those who were or are interested in being a kidney donor to contact UMass Memorial Medical Center.
“As you can imagine, my life changed drastically as one moment I’m a healthy 24-year-old getting ready for a new semester of grad school at Northeastern, and the next moment, I find myself facing kidney failure and having to learn how to adapt to this illness and new life,” Lam wrote. “I am currently on the kidney transplant list and it may take years to receive a kidney. Until then, I will be on dialysis for the foreseeable future until I am able to receive a transplant.”
Lam told MassLive she was embarrassed and scared at first to write the post but soon realized that if she didn’t reach out for help, she could be waiting up to 10 years for a new kidney.
“I was told that having a living donor is much more beneficial than having regular donor,” Lam said. “The kidney from a living donor will give you a longer life.”
Getting the message
Lam’s plea on Facebook caught the attention of Bernard’s daughter, Lauren, who shared Lam’s story with Bernard.
Bernard had donated before and upon reading the post she realized that she and Lam had matching blood types. Bernard told MassLive that she originally planned to donate her kidney to a co-worker but that plan did not come to fruition. As a result of the post, Bernard decided to start the process of donating her kidney to Lam.
Throughout the process, Bernard was asked by the UMass Memorial staff whether she wanted to continue.
She told MassLive that she had never thought about stopping the donation process, even though she did not know Lam.
“I always took the next step,” Bernard said. “I said yes. I want to proceed.”
Lam said after much back and forth, the surgery date was scheduled for Nov. 7, 2023.
“I don’t remember anesthesia,” Lam said. “The next thing I knew I woke up and I was like, ‘I have my kidney’. This is my new life.”
Dr. Dheera Reddy, surgical director of living donation at UMass Memorial Medical Center performed the surgery on Bernard. She told MassLive the surgery was successful and that those who donate their kidneys — like Bernard — are superheroes.
“I think they truly embody the spirit of giving with their generosity and altruism and we at UMass are truly grateful for their gift,” she said.
After the surgery
Following the surgery, both women are living their lives respectively. Lam said she is still attending Northeastern University while Bernard continues her work as a senior client manager for Unum in Worcester.
In October of this year, the two finally met for the first time in person. At first, Lam was hesitant to meet with Bernard.
“How do you thank someone for literally saving your life?” she said. “That could be someone else’s mom, that could be someone’s daughter. That could be someone’s loved one. That gave me chills.”
Bernard was open to meeting Lam but said she would respect her decision if she did not want to meet.
“I didn’t go into this to get a thank you,” Bernard said. “I would have been OK with respecting her decision.
Nevertheless, the two met and a relationship was formed. The two wished each other a happy Thanksgiving in November this year and have also been texting each other.
Bernard told MassLive that she feels Lam is part of her family and has been inspired to continue donating to those in need. Bernard said she is even considering donating her liver anonymously.
“It’s like getting a tattoo,” Bernard said about donations. “You can’t just have one.”
