Dear Annie: My husband does not like my sister. He says she reminds him too much of his ex-wife. It has now come to the point where he doesn’t want to be around her. This is making it very difficult to see my whole family. They live in Canada, and we are planning a trip there to visit them, seeing as my father’s mental health is getting bad.
My husband refuses to go see my sister while we are there. When I told my sister that this is a special trip to spend time with my parents and we won’t have time to go to her place, which is another three-hour drive away, she got pretty upset, especially since she and her husband have been down to the States to visit us twice in the last year.
I love my sister. She is my best friend, other than my husband. We talk on the phone almost every day. I don’t want to hurt her. Where do I go from here?
—Sisterly Love
Dear Sisterly Love: Your husband needs to grow up. Any resemblance your sister bears to his ex-wife is no reason to avoid seeing her, especially since he knows how much she means to you.
I would ask your husband why the similarity between the two women bothers him so much. Was his previous marriage toxic or abusive? Does seeing your sister trigger feelings that he has worked hard to overcome? These are issues that he needs to work through, preferably with the help of a therapist.
In the meantime, you should absolutely visit your sister while you are in Canada. He can stay with your parents or fly back to the States on his own.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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