Dear Annie: My sister expects too much from my son regarding his cousin

Dear Annie: My sister expects me to make my son and his friends spend time with her son. Our sons are in their early 20s and used to spend a lot of time together when they were younger. Her son, whom I love very much, is on the autism spectrum and had some emotional regulation issues as a child and teenager. Now, as a young adult, he has much better control over these issues, but sadly, his peers have not fully recognized this and often exclude him. Her anger has led to her texting me some unkind messages on more than one occasion.

I do my best to encourage my son to include my nephew, but at his age, I feel it is not my place to force him to hang out with him. My sister is very angry with me and my son. Am I missing a solution? Is there more that I should be doing?

—Sad Sister

Dear Sad Sister: You’re right that you can’t force your son to include his cousin—he’s an adult in charge of his own decisions—but you can explain to him why it’s important, just as you did here. If he doesn’t absorb the message today, there’s always hope he will absorb it as he gains maturity and perspective.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.