Dear Annie: I am so jealous of my mother; it is ruining my life. It is all I obsess about. Three years ago, she met a younger man at a supermarket where she worked. He was 40 then, and she was 52. Three years later and they are happily married and she has become the most spoiled woman I know. She was always slim and beautiful but now dresses in elegant designer clothes, has tennis lessons twice a week, a personal trainer, a cleaner who comes twice a week and a weekly allowance that’s more than I make in a month. She never lifts a finger, and they live in a beautiful house and travel constantly.
Her husband even cooks all the meals and cleans up afterward. He makes more than enough money to support them, and she hasn’t worked a day since they started going out. Whenever we are together, everyone turns to look at her, not me, even though she has gray hair.
She has changed completely in the last three years. She has ghosted all her old friends and now hangs out with a completely different crowd. Her husband lost his wife five years ago to cancer and has two children in university. They love her and all go on long holidays together every year. Her life is so perfect now it drives me crazy.
I now live in my mother’s old house, and she has turned over the ownership to me. I should be happy that my mother found happiness. Her husband is handsome, successful, generous, intelligent and so in love with her I can’t stand it. He is closer to my age than her age, and that just irks me.
How can I stop obsessing about my mother and get on with my life?
— Jealous of Mom
Dear Jealous: It is understandable that you are jealous. But know that jealously is just a sign of what you really want in your life. You want this type of life and relationship. Instead of focusing your energy on what you’re lacking, use your mother’s example as a role model for you. Focus on finding a boyfriend of your own, one who has all the qualities of Mom’s new husband. Best of luck to you in finding a partner.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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