When is it time to end a long-distance relationship? Annie Lane shares some thoughts in today’s column.Getty Images
Dear Annie: I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year and a half. While it’s been good for the most part, I feel like it might be time to call it quits. We video chat twice a week and text maybe twice a day, but it’s not enough for me anymore. I brought this up early in our relationship, but she told me that’s all the time she could give. I understand she has a demanding job that requires her attention four days a week, but even on her days off, she rarely texts me outside of our video chats. It wouldn’t be such a problem if our video chats lasted more than two hours, but they don’t, and I’m growing increasingly frustrated.
I work, too, but I would love for us to text more often or, at the very least, have a third video chat every once in a while. What frustrates me most is that even though we’ve been together for a year and a half, we still haven’t met in person. I told her from the start that if this relationship was going to be real, we’d need to meet within a year or consider breaking up. She initially agreed, but when I brought it up again last January and February, it led to a big fight, and she didn’t speak to me for a week. We reconciled, and I promised not to bring it up again until she was ready to talk about it. I’ve kept my word, but it’s frustrating that we’re approaching two years together, and she still hasn’t initiated a conversation about meeting.
I feel like I’m spinning my wheels in this relationship. I don’t want to end things because I care for her deeply and wonder if I’m overreacting. But lately, the thought of breaking up has been crossing my mind more often. She tells me she loves me, and I believe her, but our relationship isn’t making me happy anymore. I don’t want to continue dating someone I only see twice a week for an hour-long video call, or who hasn’t made any plans to meet in person after almost two years.
When I’ve asked her what’s holding her back from meeting, she’s never given me a clear answer. I’m left questioning whether I’m being unreasonable or if my feelings are valid.
—Hater of Long-Distance Relationships
Dear Hater of the Distance: Of course, you hate the long-distance nature of this relationship. Your feelings are completely justified. A relationship where you can’t meet in person isn’t fulfilling, and you deserve more. It’s time to call it quits and find someone who can truly be present in your life.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com .
COPYRIGHT 2024 CREATORS.COM
