Dear Annie: I have a very toxic and narcissistic sister-in-law. Despite years of unpleasant family problems caused by her, my husband and his brother (her siblings) feel obligated to stay in contact with her. Now that their parents have passed away, I had hoped we could reduce this contact even further.
The issue has become more pressing as our daughter is getting married. She does not want to invite her aunt or cousins due to how they’ve treated her in the past, and I fully support her decision. However, I know this will cause conflict with my husband, who may insist on including them out of family obligation.
How can I handle this situation while respecting my daughter’s wishes and avoiding unnecessary family drama?
—Conflicted
Dear Conflicted: Your daughter’s wedding is her day, and her wishes should be the priority. Explain to your husband that the decision to exclude his sister is about ensuring a positive, stress-free event for your daughter, not about hurting anyone.
Suggest that your husband address the matter with his sister separately, either before or after the wedding, to maintain some level of family connection without disrupting the celebration. Focus on clear, calm communication, and emphasize that this is about supporting your daughter’s happiness.
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