Dear Readers: A great number of you wrote in about abusive partners and how you finally opened up the cage and flew out. Here are two letters that I found especially interesting:
Dear Annie: While I respect “Married” for finally leaving her abuser — I’ve been there myself — I need to point something out. She mentions staying until her children got their own lives, but the truth is, those children didn’t keep her in that terrible relationship; she did.
I left my abusive husband when my children were small. Yes, it meant being a single mom, and my sons have special needs, but I left for them. Even though my husband didn’t abuse them, they witnessed what he did to me. They often thank me for loving them enough to leave. No one has to stay in an abusive relationship for their children’s sake.
I hope “Married” seeks therapy soon to realize that staying didn’t help her children. I had nothing when I left, but I dug my way out, and now we’re better for it. We’re still in therapy, but we’re happy and safe.
— Happy Survivors
Dear Survivors: Congratulations on your journey, and I hope you and your sons continue to be happy and safe. Your courage has led to a much closer relationship with your boys.
Dear Annie: I, too, recently made the courageous decision to leave my narcissistic husband after 37 years of marriage, and I’m thrilled to share with you that life on the other side has been nothing short of extraordinary! My newfound freedom has allowed me to rediscover who I truly am, and I’m loving every moment of this journey.
One of the best pieces of advice I can offer is to reconnect with old friends — especially those your husband didn’t know. These are the people who knew you when you were authentically you, before the relationship took its toll. Reaching out to them has led to some incredible reunions, and the support I’ve received has been overwhelming in the best way possible.
The joy of rekindling these friendships and the comfort of being surrounded by people who genuinely care about me have been invaluable in my healing process. I encourage you to take that brave step and reach out to those who once played a significant role in your life. You’ll be amazed at the love and encouragement that comes your way.
— My Newfound Freedom
Dear Freedom: Congratulations on opening that cage you were in and flying out. You are a free bird now and can soar in the sky. Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope it helps others open up their cages.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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