Dear Annie: How do I balance compassion and fairness in inheritance?

Dear Annie: I will be inheriting a modest sum of money and want to gift some of it to my two married children. I also want to gift some money to my daughter’s two young children to be used for future educational needs. My son and his wife don’t have children and will likely not have any in the future. They lost beautiful twins born prematurely many years ago.

I want to be fair and compassionate with the distribution of money. If I gift the same amount to my two children and a smaller amount to our two grandchildren, do you think my son will feel the distribution is unfair? I realize the inheritance is mine to do with as I please, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. We are all kind and level-headed people.

—Grandma in a Quandary

Dear Grandma: Your thoughtfulness and consideration for everyone’s emotions show what a caring grandma you are.

Gifting the same amount to each child, plus additional funds earmarked for your grandkids’ education, is a perfectly fair approach. But because your son and daughter-in-law experienced such a profound loss, it’s wise to consider how this might affect them emotionally. If you want, you could contribute something unique to them as well—a trip, for example—to show extra consideration.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.