Dear Abby: My son “Ethan” is a visually impaired adult with disabilities. He’s articulate, down to earth and joyful to be around. He’s a homeowner in a nice area of town.
A woman we met through the Nextdoor app bought an expensive winter coat from us very cheap. She and her husband know Ethan is in Special Olympics and awaiting a guide dog. She raised chickens, and when Ethan mentioned the new egg hatcher we bought for him, she asked if she could borrow it. I told her she could, after our one chick was grown enough.
I have asked repeatedly for her to return it. She said she would, and even asked for our address. I provided her with the information. She has since moved, but she’s still in town. When I asked her more recently to please return it, she posted Ethan’s photo from the Nextdoor app with a quote, “Dangerous and Unstable Person.” What can I do to defend him? Legally, I think something needs to be done for his reputation now.
— Perplexed Mom in Colorado
Dear Mom: There is enough discrimination toward people with disabilities without this awful woman contributing to it. Consult an attorney to discuss her behavior and find out how to defend your son from her uncalled-for attack. To label your son as dangerous and unstable is a slander intended to damage his reputation.
Dear Abby: I have been in a long-distance relationship for 11 years. I love “Roger.” He’s a hardworking, decent person. He says he loves me too. We got engaged three years ago and set a date for this year.
Well, Roger has called it off, but he still wants to be together. He put our wedding on hold after we had a fight. He told me he can’t marry me if I act like that. Abby, he’s exaggerating the fight. He’s my best friend, and he’s always there for me if I need him. He lives two hours away. After I had a flood, he came to help. He couldn’t even see too well. (He got shingles two days before my flood.) Regardless of how sick he was, he drove all that way to help me.
Roger has his own construction company. He has remodeled my kitchen and bathroom and done many other things for me. This is the second time he has postponed our wedding. I can’t imagine life without him. Should I stay with him? Should we break up? I’d really hate to start dating again. Do you think he will marry me?
— On Hold in Pennsylvania
Dear On Hold: You stated that Roger lives two hours away. Have you driven those two hours to be with him? If you haven’t, it may be time you did because he may have another romantic relationship going on closer to home that would be complicated to get out of.
From your description, he seems like a caring person, but there has to be a reason why he refuses to make a commitment. Until you get some honest answers from him, a marriage isn’t likely to happen. If he is unattached, some premarital counseling may help to calm his fears.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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