Dear Abby: Should I stop my sister’s awkward gift-giving?

Dear Abby: My sister is cheap. She’s also not good at choosing gifts for people. Often, the things she gives are worse than if she’d done nothing at all. An example: She was just here visiting and brought my 4-year-old a toy car she’d picked up at a garage sale (fine, so far), but one of the wheels was broken off. She had the wheel in her purse and said something about gluing it back on, but never did. Once she left, we tried to glue it, but it turned out the toy wasn’t fixable, and my son was very disappointed.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. There’s a history of clothes that are too small, ripped or dirty, toys sent so late the child has long outgrown that stage, etc. It’s not a matter of money. She’s the director of a large law school, so she can buy anything she likes. It is a matter of attention.

I’ve spoken to her several times about not bringing gifts anymore, but she glosses over the disappointment and says she loves seeing kids open the things she brings. Someday, my kids will be old enough to see her behavior as quirky, but for now I want it to stop. Am I right?

—Gift Rift in the West

Dear Gift Rift in the West,

You are not wrong. Your sister appears to be “a little off-center.” I agree with you that one day in the not-too-distant future, your children will be discerning enough to notice the “gifts” your sister brings are soiled or broken and selected without regard to their interests or taste. A way to avoid the problem would be not to invite her to visit around birthday or holiday time, or intercept her inappropriate gifts before the kids see them.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O.Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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