Dear Abby: I met this guy at work. He was everything I’m looking for in a guy. During a lunch walk, he told me about his breakup with his ex and how he moved out and bought a house. He lives with his son and his nephews and their family. The entire two months we dated were amazing. There may have been a couple of red flags my co-worker and friends noticed. He couldn’t message me often after work or on weekends, and he was always so busy with his kid we couldn’t go on a date. He told me his ex was not in the picture, which I thought was odd since his son is only 2.
I don’t know why I decided to do some internet research on him, but I found out he actually is married and bought the house with that “ex.” When I confronted him about this, he insisted he had told me about it when we first started talking, which is not true. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, he says he’s getting back with her “for his son” but still wants me in the picture as his side piece. I fell in love with him, Abby, and he says he loves me, too. I don’t think it’s right to do this, but I don’t want to stop talking to him. Should I block him and move on or stick around since he still wants me?
— Side Piece In California
Dear Side Piece: Close your eyes, dig deep and see if you can feel around and locate a shred of your self-esteem. Why would you be content to be a “side piece” in this philanderer’s life? He doesn’t love you. I doubt he loves anyone but himself. Do yourself a giant favor: Quit listening to his sales pitch, block him and find someone who can give you the love you crave.
Dear Abby: Last week my wife and I were at a local function. During intermission, a man walked up behind my wife and placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked up, shouted “George!”, jumped out of her chair and was all over him, fondling his face and head. I had to turn away, but our friends continued to watch as the two carried on. She claims it was not inappropriate behavior and that I am just jealous. Is this really a married woman’s normal behavior?
— Wounded In Missouri
Dear Wounded: Bind your “wound” and let it go. While your wife’s reaction may have seemed over-the-top to you, if George is someone your wife cared about and hadn’t seen in many years, it wasn’t out of the realm of normality for her.
Dear Abby: My ex-mother-in-law caught wind that my 6-year-old would be getting her first haircut and took it upon herself to trim my daughter’s baby curls without telling me so she could keep some for herself. I am livid. She has taken the first birthday, the first Christmas dress, the first pair of shoes. I get that it’s her first time being a grandma, but this is MY first and only time being a mom. She is a delicate woman. How do I approach this?
— First-Time Mom
Dear First-Time: Explain to your ex-mother-in-law what you wrote to me, omitting the part about “livid” because she’s “delicate.” The next time a first approaches, inform her politely that you wish to be consulted before she does anything else involving your daughter.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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