Dear Abby: I helped a friend by giving her rides to and from work for two weeks while her car was being repaired. When she got her car back, she told me to let her know if she could ever repay the favor by helping me. Recently, my car needed repairs, so I asked if I could cash in the favor for a ride to and from work for a few days. She replied that she could do that for me, but I should know she had already “paid the favor (owed to me) forward” by helping out one of her other friends, so she felt she didn’t owe me a favor any longer. I also got the impression that, if she gave me rides to work, I would owe her a new favor. I told her to forget that I asked, and I’d find another way to get to work.
Is there some rule of etiquette that says you should tell someone you are “paying a favor forward” and no longer owe them a favor?
—Annoyed in the South
Dear Annoyed: If there is, this is the first I have heard of it. The “friend” you describe is what they call a “bean counter,” or a “scorekeeper.” This is someone who places excessive emphasis on controlling things, like expenditures, budgets, and, in her case, relationships. Folks like that are best avoided.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O.Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
COPYRIGHT 2024 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
