Dear Eric: I often need help with tech support. When I call, I sometimes get a representative with a strong accent that I can’t understand. What is a polite way to address this? I sometimes just thank them and hang up and call back, hoping I will get someone that I understand. For the record, my hearing is perfect.
— Need Help
Dear Help: When you call a customer service or help line, you and the representative have the same goal—solving the problem, hopefully quickly. So, encountering communication issues—whether they’re due to a bad connection, trouble understanding one another, or anything else—keeps everyone from their goal. It’s no one’s fault and so it’s fine to just put it out there by saying, “I’m sorry, I’m having trouble understanding you. Is there someone else I can speak with?” By phrasing it in this way, you keep the focus on the goal—clear communication—without casting judgment on the way the representative speaks.
Dear Eric: I’m writing about the person who didn’t want to discuss religion with pushy people (“Still Trying to Be Polite”). Your advice was good — to give a general answer and not get into a discussion.
I was a therapist for 40 years and my clients frequently felt pushed into explaining themselves when they didn’t really want to. We used the “Broken Record Technique” when this happened. Pushy people usually don’t take no for an answer. In this case, my client and I practiced saying the same generic reply over and over — never varying: “I don’t discuss religion,” “I don’t discuss religion,” etc., etc. If pushy people see that they aren’t going to get anywhere, they eventually stop.
This is very hard for people who were taught to be polite to others. But this technique is very effective with people who were not trained to consider the feelings of others.
— Play the Record Again
Dear Record: This is a great tactic. And folks who are worried about coming off as impolite can find a phrase that feels comfortable for them and repeat that. The point is no one has to share any information that they don’t want to.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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