Dear Eric: This is a small problem, but I’m not sure how to handle it. Our entire family of 10 exchanges gifts for Christmas. One family just gave my son something that looks cheap and probably purchased at a secondhand store (and this isn’t the first time).
He was furious, as he spent $100 on each of their family members. So, I told him to be gracious and just maybe spend less next year, but he doesn’t even want to give them anything next year.
Do you have any advice for “very cheap” gift givers (who are comfortably wealthy)?
—Re-Gifted
Dear Re-Gifted: If I’m reading this correctly, each family gives gifts to the other branches of the family and your son was tasked with buying on your branch’s behalf this year. If that’s true, then I understand his frustration. (If I’m not and each person gives all 10 other people gifts, then I’d like to submit an application to join your family.)
Thinking charitably (and what is a gift exchange if not charitable), the other family may have picked out the secondhand gift as something your son would like, a unique, even considerate gesture. But maybe they’re just inconsiderate gift-givers. Such is the risk we take when giving and receiving gifts.
You can avoid this in the future by setting a price limit on gifts and advising your son to adjust his expectations. Or you can elect someone else to do the buying.
Dear Readers: In case you missed it on Tuesday, I have a new play opening tonight in Oregon at Portland Center Stage (pcs.org). While my work in this column focuses on offering solutions, my work as a playwright involves gleefully creating problems for fictional people. This play, “Mrs. Harrison,” finds two supposed college friends, with a doozy of a problem and no way to resolve it. It’s funny, it’s incisive, it’s about 80 minutes long. If you’re in the area, please check it out. I’ll be on a panel before the show at the theater on Saturday, Jan. 25, 2025.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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