Dear Eric: My husband is not a cook and really has no connection to food other than he enjoys eating it. For the past couple of years, on Thanksgiving, he has volunteered to carve the turkey. I truly appreciate the offer of help at a very hectic time (trying to get a sundry of different dishes on the table at the same time) and love that he wants to be a part of the meal prep. My problem is he doesn’t carve the turkey, he butchers it, leaving uneven cuts, torn pieces and a pile of unappealing shreds. I always provide a sharp knife, so I know that is not the problem. On top of this, it takes him a long time and the meat is served cold.
I have offered to stand by his side as he “slices” and to remove the cut pieces to the serving platter immediately, while keeping them covered with foil, but he’s afraid he’ll cut me and doesn’t want my fingers in the way. Last year, I showed him a short video from “America’s Test Kitchen” on how to carve a turkey and, unfortunately, it did not render improved results.
I realize Thanksgiving is many months away, but I’ve been stewing over how to approach the fact that his “help” is more of a hindrance.
Any advice on how to coach him to an improved performance, or should I simply be thankful he’s offered and enjoy the shreds?
— Holiday Helpmate
Dear Helpmate: A volunteer is often only as helpful as their training. Enthusiasm is great, but it only takes you so far. Since you’ve offered guidance that hasn’t stuck, kind directness is on the menu this year. A couple options: You can tell him, as you’ve told me, that the way he’s cutting the turkey doesn’t serve your meal and offer to roast a chicken sometime before Thanksgiving for him to practice on. But that also creates more work for you. Instead, try redirection. If he truly wants to be helpful, maybe another task will suit him better and actually help you out. He may be stuck in a traditional mindset that dictates the man of the house carves the turkey (and does the dishes, at least as far as some traditions I’ve observed dictate).
You’re both free to create your own tradition going forward, however. Do you need a helpful sous chef to chop mirepoix or peel potatoes? Say, “I love that you want to be helpful. I’ve thought of a way that you can better help me and our guests. Do you want to try it out?” In the kitchen, many hands make light work if those hands are working toward the same goal.
