Dear Eric: I need help in knowing how I should have responded to a cashier that I believe overstepped. I am currently about 15 months postpartum with my second child and I’m fortunate to still be breastfeeding. Breastfeeding plays a role in how/when a menstrual cycle comes back. My husband and I are not looking to have a third child, as such, we use protection. However, my cycle still isn’t regular, and I was concerned something failed as I was about eight days late. I stopped to pick up a pregnancy test to confirm the negative.
At checkout, the cashier congratulated me. I bit back my initial “colorful” response; I was honest and told her that I am hoping it’s negative as I’m not ready to have my third C-section at age 42.
She then said that I should enjoy any life I create, and any baby is a blessing. I just nodded, paid, and left. While I don’t disagree, I would have been happy if it was positive, but also a little flustered because it means we 100 percent need a bigger house in a place where housing is still stupid high. I really felt like she was being intrusive and nosy. What would have been the proper response in this situation without being rude?
—Not Pregnant
Dear Not Pregnant: This cashier certainly has a vivid imagination, what with her spinning out imagined scenarios for your life and family. There are many reasons that people buy pregnancy tests. One of the most common: they don’t know if they’re pregnant. So, a hearty “congratulations” shows a basic misunderstanding of how tests work.
You responded in a way that was generous and probably kept you from being baited into further conversation about her inner world. Nosy is as nosy does. Another option would’ve been to say “As I’m sure you know, it’s not appropriate to comment on customers’ personal purchases. Let’s make different small talk as I wait for the charge to go through. Oh look, it’s done. Goodbye forever.” But, again, I think you made the best choice.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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